Thursday, December 8, 2011

GOING ON A BREAK

Hi Guys,i am sorry for going AWOL on you but i have been pretty, pretty, pretty busy. I have been reading and writing somethingelse. I hope you didn't miss me too much.

I have had some pretty good adventures lately but i can't write about that now cos i have to run. I am reading for an interview, an oral one for that matter (i really hate oral interviews). I might know the answer but due to my fear of speaking in public i freeze up and end up not answering the question properly.

I never thought i would be invited for this interview but i guess God knows best. I would be going to another state/city for the interview which is great cos i would be embarking on another adventure....I can't wait!

I would be sure to let you know how it goes. What is it about? Just watch this space and you would find out later.

I gotta go. Later.....
Luv you guys,
Petite Diva.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

NSIT ATAI (NYSC CAMP): SIGHTS AND THOUGHTS

Before I start, I would like to apologize for my absence. I have been really busy focusing all my writing abilities on something that is really important. It is a pretty determining factor in my future plans. However I am back and it feels good to be back.

I paid a visit to the nysc camp (for those of you who don’t what nysc is, read my previous entries and you should understand better) to see the new recruits or ‘otondos’ as they are called. The place brought back some memories, the good, bad and embarrassing.

I remembered how I was such a workaholic on camp (let’s face it, I had no choice) when the present chief pharmacist was complaining. I actually loved it. It made me feel useful. I remembered my chief medical director and how close I was to him in camp. I remembered the outrageous time we had to wake up and have our bath so that the guys wouldn’t see what they had not paid for.

The memories of the lack of drugs and how we had to manage our resources; the insults from the other corps members, the emergencies and lights out all came back to me. It is amazing that now that I am through I can say that the experience was not all that bad. I made some cool friends and not so cool ones. I experienced love and hate. I enjoy my job (at least 80% of the time) and I have learnt a lot in my profession.

If I had to do it all again I would still choose akwa ibom (even though I never wanted to be posted here initially) but I would do some things differently.

To all my peeps that are presently in camp, I say ‘have a nice time’. Try to enjoy yourself but remain grounded because nysc is just for one year.

I have to go now because I am presently on call, AGAIN!

Luv you guys,
Petite Diva.

Friday, November 18, 2011

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT YOUR WORDS CAN DO ME NATHIN!

Hey guys, as you all know I am presently on night call and was feeling uninspired to write then something really weird happened. An ex decided he had the right to say some crazy things to me.

What you might ask? Don’t worry I would be sure to give you the full download. Here goes, he said and I quote “I have a psychiatric problem. It is a personality issue. I have an antisocial issue. I should see a psychiatrist before I run mad and walk stark naked in the market”. That he is blessed that we didn’t end up together, that he can’t believe that I hid my crazy behavior from him. He also said that he is not trying to belittle me but trying to give me a piece of advice for my own good.

I was stunned, shocked out of my element and could barely say anything. So i just said thank you. I had a moment of sadness but it passed and I was able to smile to myself. Why? Because he is but a man, he has the right to say what he likes that is what is called freedom of speech. In that brief moment of sadness I said a word (or words) of prayer and I was able to smile. Last time I checked he ain’t God and last time I checked I don’t owe him any explanation for my activities.

I couldn’t reply him cos I had other things to do and I didn’t feel like at that time. Now this is my reply to him.

Yes! I have issues! Yes! I get a little sad or moody at times (please who doesn't?) and yes! I might not like going out much but that does not mean that I would end up naked and raving mad on the streets. You had the guts to tell me all that when you are not God. Even if you have demonic powers you words would not have any effect. I have a bigger power backing me up. I am not a saint or worthy of his protection and love but he has always had my back.

You say that you are blessed that you didn’t end up with me, I say likewise. I don’t regret hooking up with you. Why should i? I saw a whole different world and I became bolder. I may have made mistakes but i have learnt from them and picked myself up. I am finally able to take steps I was reluctant to take and with the mistakes I made with you I am a better person for my present man. I thank God that you actually said what you said. I don’t know what is eating you up and I don’t give a hoot. I am just going to concentrate on being a better person.

People say when you are on top or going to greater heights some people would try to bring you down but that is for people that have something or are doing something spectacular. I don’t have much, okay maybe I have a job, a new guy, family, some friends and my life but that is about all. Let it not be said that I am not grateful, I am but I don’t think I qualify for a ‘bring her down kind of attitude’.

Anyways I have decided that this write up would be the end of the matter. I actually feel sorry for him. I wonder what happened to him this night that he had to say those things. I hold no grudge and forgive him. Life is too short and hey, he gave me what to write this night. So I am grateful for the words (kinda of like turning your lemons to lemonade).

Hope you guys are not shocked. I just had to write this. I have to go now. I really hope there are no emergencies tonight. I need to sleep well and not be woken up every 30minutes.

Luv you guys,
Petite Diva.

A kiss from me to u...


i am blowin u all a kiss while i am on call. Would write when i get a breather.
Luv ya all,
Petite Diva.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

MEN AND THEIR FIDELITY HANGUPS

I would like someone to please explain why men have fidelity issues. They expect women to be faithful but can’t stay faithful. When a woman does a number on them they call her a slut or a heartless b***h, like they are saints and have not done so to other women.

I really get annoyed when men say as the excuse for their infidelity is ‘we are just like that’. That is a trailer load of bullshit! (please forgive my French). Men are not made like that, you all have made yourself like that and think that reason should be enough.

I guess I am a bit mad today. I recently found that the husband of someone I admire is creeping around with some other chic. It took everything I had not to curse the guy. For crying out loud, this woman has everything that most guys want. The fact that she is married has not made her lazy. There are so many men (younger, her age mates and older) that would give a lot to be with her. And he is messing AROUND!.....arrrgggghhh!

Learning about that just made me think of how hard marriage is. Pastor Okonkwo of love, sex and marriage says his wife says that marriage is a lifetime working venture. That you wear your wedding clothes once (I tend to disagree with that, if you are quite savvy you could wear it more than once by just adjusting it a bit but then you have to use your sense when getting a dress) and after that you put on work clothes.

It really amazes me when I hear of people who after dating for 3 months not only decide to get married but actually get married. I would definitely tell you ‘congrats’ but I would also think you must be very silly (luckily none of my friends have done that). I know some churches have a minimum courting period and won’t marry you if you have been dating for less. Some might disagree with it but even though I am not a member of those churches agree. You cannot know someone fully in 3 months except God reveals everything about that person to you. Marriage is much more than the whole ‘owambe, aso ebi, I am married can you see my large sized engagement/wedding ring?(never did get the beauty in those type of rings, i personally prefer an understated engagement ring)‘ attitude.

It is so much more, It take guts to stay married. You need wisdom, patience, strength and much more to stay in the marriage when your spouse is making you crazy or your kids wanna send you screaming out of the house with all their craziness. And it requires commitment! Forget all that crap of men being men! You opened your eyes and chose a woman, said your vows in the front of God and men and now you give me that crappy excuse. Abegi! Tell that to the birds cos I ain’t listening.

You guys know what? If anytime you cheat on your wives (or girlfriends), God slaps you and you get paralysed for 2 months, you won’t cheat. You would curb your silly hormones. It is saddening to be at a beautiful wedding of someone and find out that they have separated 2 years after or that guy turned out to be a monster.

I guess it is only God that can help men to be faithful. My advice to all those that wanna get married soon and don’t want to wait is that there is more to marriage than the whole wedding jamboree. As for me, I would rather wait for the person that God has sent for me so that I can celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary with my kids and grandkids smiling cos it has been a wonderful journey than jump into a disastrous marriage cos as people say I am ‘old’. I want to look across the table at my husband and still have that sparkle in my eyes cos I made a wise decision and i am not in an enduring marriage cos of the kids.

Maybe I am dreaming again but then again, it is in God’s hands and I won’t worry about it. So to all ya people under stress to get hitched (thank God I am not), remember that people would be with you on the day of merriment but won’t be with you at your workplace (i.e. home) so stay true to yourself, trust God and be happy.

Hope you loved this piece. I can’t wait to hear your comments, I know I might get some serious backlash but hey….that is my own opinion. You can follow me on twitter @Bimbola25 and leave your comments or holla at your girl on her facebook page. I would love this to be a trending topic.

Luv u ……guys (I need to find a name for my readers. Lady crazy aka Gaga calls her fans ‘monsters’ and the kardashians call their fans ‘dolls’. So i figure you guys deserve a name. I must get a cool one, #thinkingcapon#).

Petite Diva signing out.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

YA ALL NEED TO CHILL OUT! REALLY!

Seriously folks, you all need to chill out. The last couple of days I have posted some entries that would have shocked a lot of people (and entertained a little bit I hope) and the reactions have been incredible. From the teasing types to the almost insulting remarks to the thought provoking questions.

So here is what I have to say. To a lot of folks, the first response you would have to my entries is ‘what is the big deal?’ People get tipsy, people go to clubs, so what is the whole freaking drama with my experience? The big deal is that while people were experiencing all this stuff I was cocooned in my own world. I was basically a parents’ girl (not mummy’s or daddy’s girl, both!) and I was burying my head in my books so that I can keep my GPA above a certain level. I was doing other stuff alongside book reading that I didn’t have time for any other time zapper. I have been miss prim and proper (at least I have tried to be) so now I just want to have new adventures to make my life less boring.

I know that I am late but I think that I have been late for everything. I keep saying I am a late bloomer. I get there late but I get there with so much pizzazz, drama and I would say diva swagger that everybody is forced to acknowledge that someone spectacular was there. I probably would film the delivery of my kids and post it on my blog (God sparing my life) cos I am crazy like that and anybody that does not like it can go to 3rd mainland bridge and jump in the ocean.

I also know sometimes I am na├»ve and act a little bit younger but I think that as long as I don’t hurt myself and continue to act proper, it shouldn’t hurt. At least I hope so. I guess sometimes I am too trusting and believe that humans have a little good in them. So sue me if that is wrong but that is the way I grew up.

Then some people think that the boyfriend is a bad influence on me but I don’t think so. He does a lot to protect me but I am stubborn. I am so freaking fed up with being protected. I want a chance to go out there, take chances, experience some things, make mistakes and learn from them so that I can be a better person in future. A good mentor to kids and a great mum to my offsprings. Everybody who knows me well can tell you that I am strong willed at times, when you tell I can’t do something I just go crazy and would do that thing (if I know the consequences would not be disastrous).

The boyfriend is also a ‘has done or has been’. A ‘has done or has been’ is someone who has done all the stuff that are kinda of wild to me and has been reformed to the ‘it is overrated let’s avoid’ person. So when I think I know it all and wanna try crazy stuff, he draws me back.

Oh yeah! For all you wild imaginations humans, nothing happened after the club experience. Instead of a rosy time, that was when the fighting, the crying, the arguing and the pain started. From that day onwards we have had so many lover’s tiff and arguments that I sometimes wonder whether going on our separate way would be much more calmer. However since I ain’t no Kim Kardashian and I am not selling the rights to viewing my relationship to E! network, we have decided to work on it. Hopefully we would make it longer than 72 dyas…….lol(I am such a bad girl but I couldn’t resist it).

I gotta run. I am presenting a patient case tomorrow and I have to prepare. I so hate public speaking and now I am forced to do so, thanks to some baby interns who we have to spoon feed till they have teeth to crack bones……arggghhh!

Hope to be back soon.
Luv ya,
Drama queen/petite Diva.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

PICTURE TIME

I wanna share my pixs. i hope u love some of them.

My baby's baby.
Apparently something is wrong with my browser, i can't upload any other pix. Oh well!i would try again tomorrow.

See ya,
Petite Diva

Picture time

I wanna share my pixs with you guys.I hope u love some of them and hope my internet network would behave today.


Moi!

Danger Mouse


My NYSC peeps and i.


Cute.....


Kiss me if you can ....divalicious lips.


Out and about in wuse market, abuja.


Word!



That's all, folks. the internet provider has decided to stop me from uploading any more. Hope i can post more next time.

Luv ya,
Petite Diva.

I AM BLOGGING COS I LOVE IT.

I recently posted something on my facebook page and I was told to keep some stuff to myself. That led me to wonder if I was talking a bit too much. I love writing (strange I just discovered that). I guess in my bid to make my life seem sooooo fabulously interesting I have gone overboard in being a drama queen.

But would that stop me from writing what I feel like and what I think? HELL NO! I would definitely reduce the drama and be more constructive but not stiff. I have enough stiffness at work, thank you! I am not about to make my escape therapy stiff and lacking pizzazz.

I love writing on my blog and I intend to keep doing it when the inspiration to write comes. I am not a perfect writer and I hope to be able to perfect my writing skills with this blog. Writing my thoughts and what happens to me helps me relieve tension and is like psychotherapy for me.

And now that the boyfriend and I are going on a new adventure (one that was forced on us), I intend to write what I encounter in this adventure and hopefully it would help someone out there too.

This entry is really short but it has to be cos I am really busy. I need to surf the net for some serious info.

Lots of luv, Petite Diva.

Monday, November 14, 2011

I AM FIERCELY BLESSED

Lately I have been having bouts of depression which I would talk about it in another entry. I am literally soaking up sheets of tissue (means I am always crying) anytime I have an episode.

Every time the feelings come and I want to start my pity party, I talk to the boyfriend. He is so sweet and tries to prep me up. One of his reasons for me to be grateful is that ‘I got him’. He thinks he is so fly, right? I don’t think so. He is just trying to make me see that I should be grateful for what I have.

So i was forced to take a good look at my life and realized I am blessed. I am alive, I know a lot of people who are dead and would gladly switch places with me. I have a family complete with my dad, mum, brother, uncles, aunties, cousins, a vast step family and a wonderful grandma. Oh! I have a boyfriend that wants the best for me (and makes me smile 80% of the time).

I have also discovered thanks to all ya comments that I can write. I actually think this could be the talent I have always prayed for (I would have loved singing as a talent but hey God knows best). Let’s see how it goes but I kinda doubt that I know how to write. I would talk about it later.

Even with all that I have when I see someone who is achieving what they had set out for, I get a little sad cos I have some dreams that have not been fulfilled. I forget about all that I have achieved or can achieve and go downhill. I have had severe episodes when I have cried buckets or almost a small bucket. I called the boyfriend and he tried to be my knight in shining armour. But……I know that it is up to me taking control of my emotions, I found at that when I am down, praying helps a whole lot.

I also noticed that it kinda of creeps up when my little visitor is about to come. I never had PMS but now I seem to have it every month (what is with that?). So my remedy is to pray a lot (pray away my moods), be thankful for everything I have got and be focused.

Why did I write this entry? You guys might think that I must be insane to write this (maybe I am) because I am revealing an intimate detail. I however discovered that a lot of us actually have these mood swings. I was not the only one so i don’t have to feel angry or terrible because I was going from the high end of the happiness spectrum to the lower end in the space of days. I am actually quite human. I have to accept it and fight it.

I also want those who are going through what I am experiencing to know that we can overcome it. We would be happy and sad at different stages of our life but putting your trust in God and counting your blessings works some serious wonders.

I saw this recently and would love to share it with you.
1. Prayer prevents panic.
2. Count your blessings to forget your problems.
3. If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.
4. There is no ‘key’ to happiness. The door is already open.
5. Fear God who saves your soul, not those who can harm your body.

Hope it helps folks. I have to go. I wish you all joy and happiness, i know need it too.
Luv ya, Petite Diva.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

THE IDEAL BOYFRIEND VS REALITY

Lately the boyfriend and I have been having some crazy, crazy issues. There have been fights, pain, tears (mostly on my side) and silence. While I was at the studio where I studied make up artistry at, a guy was browsing through some clothes that the owner was selling. He was looking for some nice gowns for his girlfriend and I couldn’t help wishing that the boyfriend would be just like him. The boyfriend is great (most of the time) but that day i thought of how people's idea of perfect is so much different from reality.

i don't want anybody to get the wrong impression and think i am dissing him, i am merely putting my thoughts on my blog. So with that said i would like to give you a little insight into our situation.

My boyfriend is amazing, please don’t think that he is not. The issue is the situation we are in. We both would love to go for our masters and that costs a lot of money. We don’t exactly have the support that could give us our dreams without us being responsible so we need to adjust our lifestyle. However I have a certain bad habit that I am seriously trying to curb which is called ‘lack of saving culture’. I can really be a spendthrift but he is designed differently and can be so determined.

While I want to relax, he wants us to be focused on where we are going to. It is one of the qualities that made me fall in love with him. I am amazed at his determination, he says I am relaxed because I am a girl and a guy would take care of me eventually (which irritates the crap out of me) but let’s face it. He is right (in a way) but does not mean I should be so relaxed.

Thanks to ASUU and their strikes my stay in school was extended so I have lost a couple of years in my plan so I need to step up my game. It is just sometimes I would love to say ‘to heck with it’ and just splurge on something way out of budget that makes me feel good.

So my ideal boyfriend/partner is not the knight in a shining armour on a white horse kind of guy (even though a lot of my schoolmates/friends thought that was what I wanted).

I just want a guy that can put up with me, with all my troubles, insecurities and craziness. A guy who loves me for me, who knows what I don’t like or what makes me feel bad and really tries (and succeeds) in not doing them. Who spoils me a little even if that doesn’t cost a kobo but just that he thought of me and does stuff once a while. Who (and most importantly) loves God and is willing to follow his commandments. A free living guy ain’t my thing, I need a man on solid foundation and not a guy that any wind can blow away.

But what do I have, right now? I have a great guy who just DOESN’T get it! Sometimes I just want to throw a shoe at him. Lately we have been fighting a lot and I have been very unhappy. For the first time in my life, I have actually allowed my relationship squabbles to affect my sleep (and I love sleeping!). Nothing, absolutely nothing interrupts my sleep!

The tears that have shed in the last 2 months are more than I have shed in the past 9 months. He doesn’t get my insecurities and still does things that flare them up. He is not even willing to change some of his habits that I don’t like in a hurry. I know, I know…don’t say it. I shouldn’t try to change him. I say ta! to that.

He needs a little push in treating me like a princess (not diva). Some days I want to be a petite diva, doing my own things but some days I want to be a skinny petite princess being pampered by her prince (OMG! that line is so corny!).

He doesn’t get that some things have a great importance to me. For example, he was going to be away for a long while, the day before he was travelling he gave everyone of his friends a great amount of his time and gave me a lousy dysfunctional 15minutes. I couldn’t even get angry because I didn’t want to fight, I was hurt and sad. He apparently didn’t think I was that important for him to give me his time. He apologized but that was after he noticed I was not happy and I had told him my mind. I still wonder if he would have realized that what he did was not right with me if I was all smiley and lovey.

When we are at our low I just think that we would have been better off as friends. Then something happens and I thank God that we are together (Jeez! I am getting too sappy). I have to stop. We probably are going to have many fights and cause each other a lot of pain but I believe we would get through it. His unemotional and lackadaisical behavior irritates the hell out of me but I am learning to be like him so that I don’t always get too emotional thereby sparing myself a lot of time soaking my tissues (that means crying, folks).

He is way off my ideal guy qualities (the above qualities are just a few) but he doesn’t do badly. The most important thing about him is that HE CAN ACTUALLY STAND ME. With all my issues, all my faults, all that I lack, he is still standing (i really don’t know what I did right before to deserve someone that can actually stand me cos not a lot of men can stand me). At least for now, I don’t know what would happen tomorrow but I am going to enjoy the present as it is a gift from God. I would leave tomorrow to worry about itself.

I gotta run folks. Hope I was not boring or too sappy. If I was, please let me know so that I can tweak the entry.

Love ya all, petite diva (sometimes petite princess).

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The calm after the storm: 3 days after.

So I guess that saying is true. After the whole incident and my ‘getting angry’, I started thinking about all that happened. I was wondering why I was not like the club hopping girls then I heard this voice saying ‘not everybody can be the same, you are different’. I also saw that I behaved badly, I should have just opt and left the area instead of sitting there and feeling horrible. I guess I acted like a brat. I am getting to the conclusion that I had been crazily jealous and I didn’t act properly.

As I came to that conclusion, I came across an article in a magazine ‘True Love’. The topic was ‘relationship wreckers’. The article was just what I needed. It pointed out most of my issues but the best part was it also suggested actions to take. What I loved about it was that the actions suggested were what I had already decided to do. It was a confirmation that I was on the right path.
I guess you guys want to know my sins/errors? Well according to the article (and also my petite divaish self) they are (get ready they are pretty much. I know that I have issues):
1. I am demanding.
2. I was trying to transform myself to what I thought would be more like him.
3. I was all about the relationship and had forgotten myself.
4. I was surrendering to jealousy.
5. I was trying to attach him to my hips (if the hips were big enough it might be not be so ridiculous…lol).

As I read the article which had been written in November 2005, I marveled at the fact that it was relevant to me in September 2011. I guess I am such a late bloomer or it shows that good articles/books can be helpful at any time no matter when they were written.

My first step to finding myself and changing was to talk to the boyfriend. And I have to say I almost chickened out when I saw his face (I hate confrontation and he looked so good. God! I am so sappy) but I wanted to get out everything so that it does not cause any problem later. It was actually good for us to talk because I was able to learn about some of his dislikes that I don’t intend to ever commit and learn about more things that I had to correct.

So I have resolved to take some actions to make sure that I am better female, one that does not cling to her guy. I want to be a kind of lady that can tell a guy to jump into a river if he screws up so bad, the type that can continue to have fun if a relationship does not work out and not sit at home wiping her face with tissues or handkerchief (guys that means crying). Because I have done that and it is not fun, it makes you appear weak. Besides, that is a typical response of most ladies that I know.

The actions are:
1. Go out more with other guys and girls. Leave just a day or 2 for him.
2. Make more friends.
3. Have fun without thinking about him at all.
4. Try to reduce the frequent calls (I feel I call him too much).
5. Try new things or adventures without involving him.
6. Learn a new skill or better yet find some where I can learn martial art.
7. Have ‘me time’.
8. Travel to different places without him.
9. Confess everyday when I feel weak that I can overcome my weakness.

Everything seems to be about me huh? Hell yeah! It has to be all about me now. I need to love myself, have confidence in myself and gain the strength to change my flaws. The boyfriend said I can’t do it overnight which I know but I can do it in a short while. And I am more determined to do so just cause he said I can’t do it overnight (I don’t like people saying I can’t do something it just makes me wanna do that thing). I really love what the boyfriend said when I told him of my plans, he said ‘after everything I should come back to him’. Sweet and confident of him huh? I really, really, really hope that I can or do ‘cos we never know what would happen. Let’s see how things go.

So there you are folks, all that I have learnt in the past few days. With everything that happened I am not sorry I got really tipsy and I went to the club, I have gotten better but it does not mean I would try it soon. Oh! I guess I have to apologize to the ‘friend’ for being such a spoilt brat. Arghhhhhh! I hate to do it but…… it is necessary as I really did behave like a brat. I should have dealt with the whole situation like a classy person, like the petite diva that I am. Well till I have the opportunity to that we would see.

I gotta go folks as I am about dozing off on my computer. I would let you all know my journey to being a better person, a better petite diva.

Luv ya,
Petite Diva.

P.S: Does anybody know if calabar or port Harcourt has an amusement park? I saw a play area in a fast food restaurant and I remembered amusement parks. I really miss apapa amusement park. I really miss the scary rides, the horses and the cotton candy (a taste of sugar clouds). Ohhhhhh I am really missing the fun. I also want to drive the bumper cars now that I am tall and bold enough to do so. Please someone tell me that I can find one close to akwa ibom. I can pay you for the address (just kidding o!). Send me a message on my facebook page or 2go. THANK YA!

Friday, November 11, 2011

9th OF SEPTEMBER 2011: CLUBBING THROUGH THE EYES OF A FIRST TIMER

I really hope you guys liked my previous entry (it was really a long read, huh?). This is the follow up.

So we stepped into the club and it was dark, noisy and reeking of cigarette smoke. Why people smoke that stuff I don’t know? I actually think they are cheap! They should smoke Cuban cigars if they want to appear fly but I guess they can’t huh? Then the guys that I was with (a couple of guys had joined us) had joined in the craze of the nicotine buzz. They ordered red wine which I didn’t even smell and started drinking.

I watched as some people were dancing and was really regretting why I was there. I was really pissed at the boyfriend who was cross at me for no good reason as far as I was concerned.

I watched him as he danced with the girl; I really tried not to watch them. Short of moving to another seat I had to look at them. At a point they must have felt that I was getting angry and left separately away from me. I guess to really dance! I got up after a point to go to the ladies and as I was finding my way I meet him on the way. The way he abruptly left who he was dancing with to attend to me was like he was guilty of something. At that point I didn’t care if he was sleeping with someone I was too angry at myself. I practically pushed him away from me.

I actually danced with 2 guys who were safe for me because they were friends but my definition of dance and people’s own are seriously different. What is called dance by the club goers is called GRINDING by me! So the boyfriend and his lady friend were practically together, dancing and talking throughout. I looked at them and thought they were perfect for each other. They danced alike and they seem to enjoy each other’s company. I felt like an intruder and told him so. I really would have loved to go to the car and sleep but I guess I am stubborn. Something inside me wanted to see everything.

Like I said I danced with 2 guys and refused to dance with him. I guess it was my way of irritating him. I guess it worked cos he later called me and we kinda talked. Only for him to get up and dance with the girl and her friend, we later danced when he grabbed me. I am such a softy, I shuffled a bit and did some stuff which is none of all ya business.

We went to another club which was cramped like a sardine tin. He did some things that I don’t want to write about. I just got tired and went to a free corner to be on my own. That was when I met a guy that led to me into another adventure which I would write on later. At a point I noticed that he was looking around, maybe he was looking for me maybe he was not but I couldn’t care less.

From that we moved to the issue of where to sleep and as a guy he decided where we would sleep and you can imagine where he chose. I could have behaved like a brat but I was just ready for the night to end.
So there you go folks the events as they happened (I might have omitted some parts but they are either irrelevant or too much info for you).

Now that I am through with describing the events I would like to write my feelings so guys get some popcorn and drinks cos this is going to be veeery good.

Some people might think I was acting like a jealous brat (like he pointed out) and maybe I was. I was already having a lousy day and I thought that he would help me get rid of the cloud that was threatening to rain on my parade. But he was busy grinding on some babes and making others comfortable. And you might say I wanted attention, DAMN RIGHT! I DID! What is wrong with that? Part of the benefits of having a relationship is for comfort (I think) and I just needed that…..badly. However I got something else. So maybe I am bitching here because I was so mad.

Who knows if I had been in a better mood I might have been able to take everything. I was also pissed with myself for a lot of reasons:

1. Allowing myself to be transformed to what I am not? I mean drinking.
2. For caring so much about what he did with any other chick. I have always strived to be the kind of lady that would see her guy sleeping with another chick and calmly walk out, set fire to his clothes and give him the boot. However I guess I am too much like the females in my family. We tend to use all our energy on our guys, transforming ourselves to be what they want and thereby losing who we were before them. I have vowed not to be like that but here was I doing the same thing and we ain’t married!
3. For actually going to the club. I should have demanded to go home earlier. I didn’t need to see some of the things that occurred or maybe I did. I got a glimpse of what he had been or is? I don’t know yet.
4. For letting my bitchy side show. I have always thought that I should have class and never allow my feelings to show. It did that night and I am so angry that I showed emotions. The classy thing would have been to walk away and stay away then they won’t have felt like I was intruding or acting like a jealous bitch and won’t have had to restrict themselves! (I am really sorry for my swearing folks) I am so pissed at myself. Maybe I was jealous not of her but of the attention she was getting. But letting my emotions show was so not my style, I am supposed to be an ice queen not some sappy love struck teenager!

After confronting my issues, I had to find a way out. My options were:

1. Quit the relationship entirely. However I know the problem is not with him but me and since I am not ready to leave the relationship it is not an option.
2. Separate for some time while I rediscover myself and get some backbone. It is an option that is looking good.
3. Stay in the relationship but change. Stop focusing all my energy and time on the relationship. Focus a large amount but get a life. Do things differently if it works then good, if it doesn’t then I guess it was not meant to be.
So which one have I decided to adopt? I don’t know yet but I am thinking and praying about it. I just want a chance to be me and not try to be someone else. I have always said I want someone who would love me for me and allow me to be just that. Whatever options I choose I just want to be true to myself.

I had decided never to step into a club because of this experience but I think I might give it another shot. However not with the boyfriend, thank you very much. I would go with my guy friends which should be fun (hopefully). Though the whole experience was not that bad, a few times when he remembered that he was my boyfriend he acted sweet and caring but that was 20% of the time. Watching him doing his thing felt good (at some point) and horrible, disappointing and disheartening most of the time (I am a confused female, right?).

I can’t wait for the boyfriend to read this. I can’t imagine the way he would feel but it had to be said or written (cos you all know I am a drama queen…..lol). Whatever happens we would discuss it and find a way out.

I gotta go guys. It was liberating writing this entry. I can’t wait to hear your comment. You can holla at me on my facebook page or 2go.

Till I get inspired or angry, I am saying byeeeee…..
Kisses,
Petite Diva

Thursday, November 10, 2011

9th OF SEPTEMBER 2011: A DAY TO REMEMBER AND DEEPLY REGRET

On the 9th of September, 2011 when the beat fm in Lagos was celebrating their 2nd anniversary the most fabulous petite diva on this planet (see me psyching myself o!) was making a fool of herself.

What did I do? I kinda of got drunk. People! I said kinda of, which means I was not fully drunk. I was “overly tipsy” (is there a word like that?). I had 2 bottles of Smirnoff ice and a little amount of star without any prompting. For those who know me, my limit is ¾ of a bottle so you can imagine what 2 full bottles would do to me. Now I know the big question you guys want to ask: ‘WHY DID I DO IT?’ Well……. I was feeling kind of low and in a ‘I don’t give a damn’ kind of mood.

Earlier that day I had gone to see the CMD of the hospital that I want to work in ‘cos he had promised me a job but was unable to do so (note to every1: never believe any CMD until they have fulfilled their promise). I started wondering why I stayed back in akwa ibom and was just feeling like I had made a terrible mistake. I have no family here, I am in a strange land and the people I really connected with are all gone. Then to crown it all, the one person in the state that always seemed to be able to lift my spirit decided to invite another girl to an outing that I had thought would be just 3 of us (another guy was to join us).

Folks get prepared cos this entry is about to get emotional. To the boyfriend, you might not like this but things have to be written. The words won’t be nice but it is what I feel.

Let’s go! So back to my foray into the land of alcohol, I got to the bar (those who have been following my blog know the place, ‘Gent’s Lodge’) saw the guys and the girl. I was introduced to the girl. What really increased my terrible mood was that I had seen the girl when I went to the hospital. She had come to see him at the time I wanted to see him but I didn’t even wait to see him when I saw her.

Why? You might ask. Well, like I have told him that I noticed that whenever there is another female around he seems to forget that I exist and I didn’t feel like waiting for him. I sent a text that I had gone and he didn’t even reply or call. I called him about 1 hour before he decided to let me know that he had gone there with the girl.

The most annoying part about the girl is that she had a history with one of his family member. And like I said, he did that ‘ignoring me act’ so I guess I went ‘wild’ by my standards. I really acted stupidly, he warned me but I told him to mind his business.

I felt light headed at a point and wanted to go but he didn’t let me. So I stayed and was chatting on my phone. I kept saying I wanted to go home especially after I saw him doing something I absolutely can’t and won’t stand but he won’t let me. He kept saying that someone was coming to take me.

So I waited and felt like crap ‘cos I have done something that is against what I am. Oh! I would also like to say he had asked me if I would like to go to the club (that I have never been to) which was at the prompting of the ‘female’. I said no! We waited for the guy with the car to come but it became too late for me to go home ‘cos there is a 10 ‘o clock curfew (that is when the gate is locked) in my house (I finally found a place after 3 weeks) and I didn’t want to disturb the whole compound. That meant I was stuck with them. So it was time to pick the female and her friend (after so much turning around looking for where they were).

By then I was really feeling like an idiot. I am not like everyone and I would never be like all the other outgoing females yet I was trying to be what I was not. I am just me. So I actually wanted to just stay in the car and sleep after thinking of what I had done. I entered the club and the events that happened were a lesson for me but that is a story for another day (tomorrow I promise).

So after that day I realized that I would never be like all the other females and that I was specially made, customized. So here is my statement, you can quote me.

My name is OMOWUNMI ABIMBOLA MONISOLA OSINUBI. I am the ‘PETITE DIVA’ (no other petite diva can stand me), I run this blog, I am a pharmacist with a vision to be one heck of a pharmacist that would make the world stand up and give Nigeria a standing ovation for having the pleasure of me being a Nigerian. I am a fierce female that would make her guy feel like a king, I am a future mother of great children, I am a princess of nations, the queen bee to be specific, I am blessed, I am not of this world, I am severely fierce, I am shy, I absolutely hate talking in public and have an accent so don’t pronounce some words well. I am not your average leggy, outgoing, and beautiful, ass shaking, grinding club hopper BUT I repeat again, I AM OMOWUNMI ABIMBOLA MONISOLA OSINUBI! I AM ME! WORLD TAKE NOTICE!

I think I should stop here today. I definitely would continue the story tomorrow. It should make quite an interesting read.

Luv ya,
Petite Diva.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

MY LIFE POST NYSC IN THE PAST ONE MONTH

It has been quite a while since I wrote. I guess I have been busy and not in the mood to write. I have been busy looking for the job that I want. I have been so consumed by trying to get it that everything has been abandoned.

When I was still serving the image that I had in my mind was that by 1st of July I would have started working but the image and reality are two different things. This is the 30th day in July and I have not been given the job but….. there is a reason for me to be grateful.

I may not have secured the job that I set out to have but I have found something that would keep body and soul together. I am starting on Monday folks, so wish me all the best as I finally act like a registered pharmacist. Strange, sometimes I don’t believe I am a pharmacist. Well, the certificate says so. so i had better act like one!

Now the biggest problem i have is finding a flat. It is amazing after going to a school where there was no campus accommodation and you had to look for a place outside you would think that i would be able to understand what goes on in finding a place. However the difference between school days and now is that the house rents were not ridiculously high for useless places that you could barely move in.

How can someone expect me to pay 100k for a cubicle and pay for 2 years! I must build a fantastic house in this state and show them how things should be done. It is just highway robbery! Jeez! And the house agents I have are like'no taste human beings'. I have seen disasters that human beings are supposed to leave in. I don't have a ridiculous high taste, i just need a place that i don't regret paying for. a house that says 'petite diva'. Is that too hard for Akwa Ibom people? Yikes!

LORD,this is a petite diva emergency! I need a 1 bedroom flat that says 'petite diva crib', with light (that the transformer is still working and PHCN has not forgotten the area but gives them light for more than 7 hours a day), water that is clean, security (you are the best security), neighbours that are nice, that the landlord or landlady does not lock the gate at 9 pm (cos you know a girl has to have fun sometimes and may come home at 10pm on some days) and so much little details that is between you and me, In Jesus Name, AMEN.

So I guess that is all that has been going on in my life lately. Oh! I almost forgot to inform you guys that my boyfriend is now an ex (you know the one that the 'guys' said was not good for me, the one I said I would give the benefit of doubt…remember?). Well I guess I got fed up. I knew I had to end it when I didn’t believe anything he said and when I would rather spend time with others than with him. So i finally got fed up of acting like everything was okay and he knew it so we just went on seperate ways.

So do I miss him? NO! HELL TO THE HELL NO! I just miss the fact that he liked to buy me stuff. I guess after being used to buying things for yourself it is nice to have someone taking care of you like that but apart from that nothing more. So am I free now? Free from lies, yes! Free from distrust, yes!

But am I free in other words am I single? Technically….. yes and no. Confusing? I know. I am in the early stage of something and I am not defining it yet so I don’t know. What I do know is that I am enjoying being with this person for now. Maybe we would define it later but for now I know that I am free from all the previous drama and I love where we are now. So sue me if you don’t like it. I am taking everything slow and steady this time. I am not putting any hopes but I trust God to do what is best for me.

There you go folks my life in the past month. Very boring right? Whatever…. I am not in the right mood to use my imagination to make it interesting. I NEED A FLAT!

Till I am in a better mood to write, I remain the fabulous petite diva.

Luv ya

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

GOODBYE NYSC (PART 1): TRIBUTE TO UUTH PHARMACY DEPARTMENT STAFF

So I finally passed out from the compulsory one year NYSC scheme on the 16th of June, 2011. It has been a fulfilling one year (technical 11 mths cos I still have some days off as my leave period). I am grateful to God that I passed through the year without any health issues (even though people say I have lost weight which is worrisome) and I am alive to see the end of my service year.

I have never stayed this far from home and I felt out of my element when I first arrived but now I dread going back home. The traffic, the noise, the weather and the bad roads of lagos is something that I am not keen on facing right now. I love this small town. It is because of the smallness of the town and the fact that I don’t have to use 3 hours on the road for a journey that should be 1 hour that appeals to me.

This past year I have had the pleasure of meeting and working with great people. Some might have been kinda of annoying at first but I have tried to see the good in everybody and learnt to work with them.

So this write up is a tribute to the greatest pharmacy crew I have ever had the pleasure of working with. I have never been glad to be a stubborn chic in my life until now. I am glad that I was persistent in getting my re-posting to UUTH from Ukpom Abak. I am extremely grateful that I was highly favored cos a lot of people tried and were not successful.

I would love to use this write up to celebrate a woman who has shown me that you can reach the peak or almost the peak of your profession as a female. She is the deputy director of pharmaceutical services and HOD of the department of pharmacy, UUTH. She is the head of the deparment and still remains grounded. Her name is simply Pharm (Mrs.) Maria Udoh. She is a very smart, intelligent and knowledgeable woman. She makes me want to learn as much as I can. I have been blessed to have worked under her. You would think that a woman in her position would have an attitude but she is not that way. She can be very jovial and acts playful at times though she can be so angry at times that you would practically want to a dive out of her way at that time.

I have also seen how you can be fly and be a very smart, intelligent, sexy pharmacist in the person of (Pharm (Mrs.) Ekpema Abasiattai). She was a tremendous help to me while I was here. She was like a younger, flyer version of my mum and a very nice big sister. If I ever leave Akwa-Ibom I would never forget her. Why? Anytime I do a make-up job or use my international passport I have no choice but to remember her. I definitely want to be like her and would miss her.

I had the pleasure of also working with Pharm Bella, the current Assistant director of pharmaceutical services. She has been a joy to work (at times, when she gets in her strict mood it is best to avoid just like the DDPS). She is one of the very few people that could pronounce my name correctly.

All the in-charge pharmacists were wonderful. They took me as one of their own and were a source of inspiration to me. The other registered pharmacists and present corps members (Mandu, you are incredible) have been great to work with.

However my best working experience apart from working with Mrs. Abasiattai has been working with the interns (both the ones that left and those that I am leaving). They are simply the bomb. I have had my best times with them. No matter what kind of shit I had in my life, they seem to be able to help me get rid of the mood just by being there.

From my ex-love (Ini), to my fake bodyguard/oron boy (Esio), crazy jos boy (Ibanga), fly locum pharmacist (Usen), Utibe (I still don’t know how to pronounce his name properly), Buchi (proper omo ibo) and last but not and will never be the least 'my crazy jos baby' (Micheal, you have been my best buddy in aks. We share a bond that no one would understand). It has been a pleasure working with you and knowing you. You guys would always be my 'boys'. Ekanem, you can never be excluded. You are my akwa-ibom person. It has been wonderful having you in my life.

To my girls, Uduak, Ruth, Edidiong, Esther, Mandu, Ukeme, you have been amazing. I wish you the best in life.

As I write this, I can feel tears coming but I am really trying to push it back. I have not cried yet and I hope I don’t cos I don’t look pretty when I do. All the pharmacy department’s staffs were wonderful. The only problem was only a handful people were able to pronounce my name properly. My name was ‘Omawunmi’ instead of ‘Omowunmi’ and i guess anytime i hear it i would turn back cos i am used to it now.

I sure had a great time here. Though I hated the night calls but I know it was necessary. I love the fact that I could learn about disease states and their treatment, could carry out intervention, compound drugs and carry out pharmaceutical care.

I would definitely miss UUTH, Uyo. You would always be in my heart.

Love you all.
Kisses from the only petite diva you would ever meet,
Pharm (Miss.) Omowunmi Abimbola Monisola Adejoke Osinubi (MPSN) signing out.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

SPRINKLING MY DIVA DUST ON A GEMS LODGE A.K.A GENTLEMAN’S LODGE

So in line with trying out new things, I got some really cool boys to take me out some days ago. I wanted somewhere different so I let them choose the place. They took me on a trip to their world. A place called ‘Gems Lodge’ but I refer to it as a gentleman’s lodge because I think it has that feel.

They are really good kids (I am going to get in trouble for calling grown up men ‘kids’). They decided that a bar was a place to unwind after work. I have never stepped into a bar like the one we went to (I recently stepped into an open space bar thanks to one of the kids). It was small and kinda cosy until the onslaught of cigarette smoke started. It is seriously incredible how people puff away on that thing. It ain’t adding anything to your life instead it is reducing your life span. Thanks to some of the kids my life span has been reduced by some days as they were puffing away without a care in the world and I was inhaling some of the smoke (it is called passive smoking people!).

I tried to be a tomboy diva and (play) wrestle the packs of cigarettes that they had from them but was only lucky to obtain one. They tossed it around to each other just to make sure that I wouldn’t get it. I felt good that I was able to get one pack only for one of them to snatch it back from me. I was totally caught off guard. The other guys in the club watched as I tried to wrestle them and actually laughed at all my antics (glad to be your entertainment for the night, guys).

I started with a non alcoholic drink but was later cajoled into trying a low percentage alcoholic drink (Smirnoff). The taste of Smirnoff is not bad (I am talking about the one in the can o!) but the alcohol in it does not agree with me. I was kinda woozy and had headache that night which lasted till morning. I don’t know why people keep drinking that stuff (alcohol). I felt odd because at a point I was the only female there. Then due to the fact that I don’t like staying out late in the night, I just wanted to go home. I was so worried on how I would get home as the place was far from my house.

All in all I had a nice time, ate nkwobi (don’t know if I spelt it right) for the second time in my life. So what is my take on this type of stuff? You wanna know.

Well here it is. It is okay to go out after work but I think I can only stand it once a while. I don’t think that kind of life is for me. The smoke, the noise are not just my kind of scene. If the noise was less and the smoke was non-existent, maybe just maybe I might enjoy it more. Till I find a place that is more my style, I think I would stick to my room and the cinemas.

That is all for now folks. I hope to be back soon. I need to pay for my internet connection and hope I would be in the mood to write.

I am yet to tell you guys my biggest adventure.

Love ya all.
Petite Diva signing out.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

LOVING THE SERIOUS REVIEWS

Lately I have been getting some reviews concerning my blog, the writing style and content. It has been kinda mixed, a little bit of good and a little bit of lukewarm reviews.

I want to write about certain things that people should put into consideration when reading my blog.

Number 1: Don’t believe at least 30% of what you read on my blog. I am trying to be interesting so I might (the word is ‘might’) adjust the truth a bit. Hey! I am trying to be exciting. My life sometimes is boring so i need to help it. So I guess this is my warning ‘if you read anything here and don’t confirm from me before you spread anything you are on your own o!'

Number 2: A friend said that whenever he reads my blog he is amazed that it is a pharmacist writing it. I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad one but this is what I feel. I love being a pharmacist. I am proud and know that I am blessed to have the privilege to be called one. However when work is over I want to relax and put the responsibility cloak of pharmacy off me. I am not the 'clubbing' or 'going out a lot' person so I relax by watching movies, cleaning (weird huh?) and writing.

My writing style is a whole lot different from my speaking style. I feel like I am free to say what I want in the way that I want and not stiffly or should I rather say ‘professionally’ like I would when I am in my 'pharmacist mode'. So when writing I like saying ‘OMG (for those who don’t know what OMG is, it is Oh my God!), ‘pissing me off’ or ‘f**k off’ when I feel like. Words I probably won’t say (or say a lot) when talking. I like the way I feel like i am a bestselling writer when I am writing. It gives me such a great feeling. It makes me feel good like i am achieving something that is different from pharmacy. I really love writing.

So it is kinda of strange that I might write in a peculiar way but that is what I love about my writing. I can be whoever I want to be on my blog and I don’t think I should apologize for that. So people bear with my writing style snd just enjoy reading my blog.

Number 3: So I hate to admit it but I must before I get into trouble when people think my blog is the world’s most authentic source of my life adventures and turn to my publicity secretary/agent. I don’t entirely give all my info here. I keep some to myself, I remodify some and relay to you and I give you some of the most authentic gist about my life. All in all, I assure you that majority of my life experiences are true. Which one you might wonder? Wwwell, that is for me to know and you to find out when I want you to.

I think I have talked a bit about what I feel today. Need to have my beauty sleep. It has been a very tedious day.

Oh! By the way, NYSC is coming to an end. Amazing, it feels like yesterday when I came to Akwa-Ibom. Now it looks like I am about to leave it for good. That is part of the issues I am having. What issues have cropped up into my life? I would let you guys know very soon.

Gotta run (or rather gotta sleep).
See you soon.

Luv,
Petite Diva.

Monday, May 9, 2011

I AM RUNNING OUT OF LOVE STEAM FOR MY FIRST LOVE

I really don’t know how to start this post. I have been staring at my computer for the past one hour and I seem confused on how best to put my feelings into words. I think I am having a writer’s block (that feels good to say or write). I hope this post would be great.

I don’t know how it happened but lately I have been feeling a little differently for my first love. I have gone from being in love with him to just wishing and hoping we would be good friends.

I think I just got tired of being made to feel like I am a child. I know I am not perfect but that does not mean I should be made to feel like I am stupid. I make mistakes, please someone should show me somebody who does not make them too and I would tell you that either the person is the biggest liar on earth or the person is ‘Jesus Christ’.

He makes me feel like I am a child sometimes so I guess after some stroking I just got fed up and the feelings started waning. Nowadays when he starts I just keep quiet and let him vent. When he is calmer I start talking. I guess I am thinking of my future and don’t want anything I say to be used against me later in life. I am usually a person who gives as well as I get but I am getting tired of the whole defender of myself attitude with him. It seems to be the same thing all the time and it is getting tiring.

That is what I have been doing lately with every situation I find myself in. I just shut up and let people do all the talking because in future the same people could use those words against me.

I have always gone through life with the feeling that I may not be the best person but I don’t deserve the worst. I don’t deserve someone treating me in a bad way. I try to treat everyone with respect (I may not be successful but I do try), so I think I deserve the same treatment.

Anyhow, my old feeling of ‘loving myself and being grateful for my life’ seems to be back. So everything seems to be child’s play now. I would hold on and hold out waiting for the right person for me till then I would try to enjoy myself, who knows I might have met the person who would love me for me and treat me as a grown up. I would definitely keep my fingers crossed.

That is all for now folks. Thank you for reading my blog. I should be back soon. Hopefully I won’t have another writer’s block.

Luv ya all.
Petite Diva

Thursday, May 5, 2011

BOYS AND THEIR GAMES (PART 2)

A lot of you guys have been eagerly waiting for the concluding part to my ‘boys and their games’ story. I am so sorry that it took this long. I have been feeling lazy and some other things have contributed to its delay (for those in Nigeria you know what the mighty PHCN can do when they are crazy).

However without further ado, here goes the concluding part. Hope you enjoy it.

So like I said a few days after the ‘talking to’ or should I rather say ‘telling to’ I was flipping through his phone and decided to flip through his texts. I normally don’t do that because I would hate it when people read or flip through my texts (I shouldn’t have done it, it is a very nasty thing to do and I don’t advise anyone to do so) but I don’t know what made me check it that day.

I saw some texts that were dated some months that were sent to a particular number that I didn’t bother with. Why? You might ask. The simple reason, we were not involved then so why bother my head about past drama. So I continued flipping through and saw some other texts that were recent and had suspicious contents. Which made me wonder; ‘was this guy still with this chic when he started with me?’ However the most important question was ‘Is this guy STILL with this chic when we are OFFICIAL?’

My conclusion was YEP! He was with the chic when he was starting with me. I don’t know why he was still keeping up with the chic. Was he trying to make sure that he had secured me before letting her go? I was seriously mad and a bit hurt. Then I got into my ‘nobody messes with me and gets away with it mode’ and decided I was going to get my revenge. I was really mad; I was like a bull seeing a red flag. I had to comport myself and cool down so that I didn’t blow up in his face. I wanted to punch something. I really wished I could box and had a punching bag or that I knew martial arts so that I could release my anger.

Two things that can make me mad with a guy are cheating (and lying about it) and hitting me. I see red when they happen. I am a like a tornado, destroying anything in sight. Then I calm down and feel sad but contented that I tried to do something about it.

I chatted with some friends on what I should do and they all gave me the answer that they felt was best. They were different. I even spoke to someone close, apparently he knew about the whole game plan before I did and tried to warn me but as stubborn as I am I didn’t listen. That is a major problem that I have, I AM STUBBORN. However I decided to calm down and do things my own way.

What have I decided to do? I am going to give him the benefit of doubt and hope that he was initially trying to play me but when we got closer he decided that he couldn’t continue with the game (I am deceiving myself, right?). I am just trying to see the good part in him.

And I am playing the forgiveness card because I am human too and can be flawed in my judgment especially if one has friends that can influence you in a negative way unless you are willing to stand up and refuse to be influenced. Besides I have not caught him in the act ….yet and flipping through his texts is not permitted when judging in this case.

I would play my cards right in this game and if he messes up just a little bit (not once), he would feel my wrath. I would deal with him in a ‘wonder woman, Margaret Thatcher and petite diva’ way that he would never forget. And that would be really nasty cos you have the strength of wonder woman, the independence and strictness of Margaret and the flair of a diva. How would I do it? That is for me to know and for you to never find out.

Till then I am playing the role of an ignorant girlfriend in this game and riding this wave. Maybe something good would come out of it and maybe not. Whatever the case maybe I know I would come out on top of the situation and I would definitely have a wonderful story to tell you guys.

Hope you have enjoyed this piece. I would love to ask you ‘my dear readers’ some questions.
1. Was I wrong to check his text messages? I feel it was wrong but now I can see so much clearer.
2. Should I have confronted him then?
3. Should I end it now without confronting him or continue with my benefit of doubt plan and see what happens?

I am confused. I have too many issues right now (would let you guys know about it soon) and don’t want this one to be part of it. One thing I can say though is ‘relationship is a load of hard work and I don’t know if I am cut out for it’. Sometimes I just want to be on my own again.

I would love to know what you think. You can write your comments here or on my facebook wall. Thank ya very much.

That is all folks. Hope to see you soon.
Luv ya,
Confused petite Diva.

Monday, May 2, 2011

MY TAKE ON THE ROYAL WEDDING

I know I promised to give you guys the concluding part to my story on boys and their games but the whole royal wedding that occurred a few days ago and its craze has made me to put it on hold and say something about the whole thing. I am not an expert or something but this is what I feel.

Where should I start? I know…..HER DRESS.


It was simply elegant and divine. I loved the lace details, I loved the sleeves, I loved d skirt details. What I loved the most was the lace sleeves which did not make the dress look trashy. It was a refreshing change from all the tube/sleeveless gowns that I have been seeing lately. I was arguing with someone about some months ago that a wedding dress with sleeves can look really great.

When I said that, I was thinking along the line of the concept that was used. I think the Anglican Church/ Mother’s Union in Nigeria would not object to that kind of dress. For people who don’t understand let me explain. The Anglican Church frowns on tube or sleeveless gowns, if the vicar is one crazy person the bride can be sent out of the church and he wouldn’t care less.
What I didn’t like however was the sweetheart neckline of the inner gown. I would have preferred a straight neckline but the dress worked with her so it is all good.

I have been talking about Kate’s dress though I also love her sister’s dress. It was also simply divine. It could be great as a second wedding dress. Way to go! Middleton’s Chics.

Okay, now to what I didn’t like. The HYPE! The hype was too much if you ask me considering that most of the royal’s marriages have not lasted. With the exception of the queen’s own and one of her child’s (can’t remember his name, besides his marriage is still young), all of the have crumbled and they are on their second marriages. I would think that people would mellow down but I guess British guys are different.

Then the fact that because she is now a princess she can no longer be called Kate but now Catherine (say that in a British accent). If she wants to be called Kate people should respect that.

All in all, it was a great wedding but really long. I hope they are happy now and try to stay that way. I also hope that Kate knows what she is getting into and is prepared for the royal life because those who have stepped into didn’t really come out of it happy.

Well, that is my own take on the wedding of Prince William and Princess Kate, I am sorry Princess Catherine. The newest Duke and Duchess Of Cambridge.

I wonder what would happen when Prince Harry gets married. What title would he and his wife be given?

I really should talk about the clothes and crazy hats that the guests wore that day. Maybe when I have the pictures I would do a mini fashion police episode here. That would be cool, don’t you think? A Fashion Police episode featuring the ‘one and only’ Petite diva…..lol.

I gotta run. Should be back soon with the concluding story to ‘boys and games’ story. Stick with me and you are sure to enjoy the ride.

Luv ya all,
Petite Diva.

Friday, April 29, 2011

BOYS AND THEIR GAMES

Hey Guys! I have had a very eventful couple of months. I have gone through both happiness and sadness modes. I have stood on the border of having a full blown depression because of my relationship with the first guy I have ever loved. I went into the ‘relationship’ that could not be called a relationship because of circumstances when I knew that nothing would result from it but I was in dreamland. I wonder what kind of spirit entered me and made me involve myself in something that was totally useless and unnecessary.

The long story cut short is that it ended horribly, a total disaster for me and nothing for him. Sometimes I wonder if females truly have fish brains like men claim because I am still amazed at how I got involved in it and lost every pride and confidence I had. Maybe it is good thing that it was never meant to be because I might have truly lost my personality if I was still involved with him. The lord truly works in mysterious ways. I am just summarizing it for now but I promise that I would give you guys the full story later. What I want to write on now is the new drama that has come after that.

Seems I am living in a reality show or soap opera lately cos stuff like this doesn’t just happen to me. However I think it is all good in the sense that I have material for my blog (yeee!). So here goes my reality show story.

Shortly after I had to say bye to my first love, I was just trying to cope the best way that I could. A friend of an acquaintance approached me; you could say he was a friend to me (kinda). The point is I never really talked to him. He was just a ‘say hi and small talk’ kind of person to me. Then the fact that his friends lived in the same compound/ corper’s lodge made us to see at times. There was an evening we gisted with other guys also being there. He asked for my number and I didn’t have a problem with giving him my digits. The fact that he was also a member of my church made him to be more in the circle of peeps that I could associate with.

Slowly we talked more; watched movies and he tried to be the perfect gentleman with me. One thing led to another and we locked lips (after trying to avoid the situation). I liked him. I had fun with him. We had play fights; I laughed more and felt good. I was really happy that my depression seemed to have disappeared. Maybe that was what made me vulnerable.

We continued talking and seeing each other. We got closer and I felt very good with him. However I was still missing my ex. In my mind I compared him to my ex. So I could never fully enjoy his company.

I had to promise myself that I would try to forget about my ex and enjoy the guy. He seemed so sweet and caring. So after some time I asked him to define what we were having. I didn’t want a case of misplaced thinking on my part. I was not interested in being a play or bed mate.

So he asked me out (is that the right phrase to use?), I considered it and gave him my answer some days after. My major problem was other people talking so we agreed to try and take it slow and keep it a secret from everyone.

When we were now comfortable, people started knowing about us. Then the beginning of issues started. I was being warned by the ‘guys’ (if you are following my blog you would know about the people I call the ‘guys’) to be careful. They thought that I was with him because he has the same surname as my ex. He was getting threats from them. Which made me wonder; what was wrong with the guy?

Long before the other guys knew about him, I had told my ex and he kept on saying be careful. I always thought maybe he didn’t want me to be happy. We actually fought because of that. But boooy was I wrong?

The words that were spoken made me think, then I started praying that if he is going to hurt me that God should reveal it to me before he gets the chance to cause any damage to me. To show that God answers prayer, some days after the ‘talking to’ that I received I got the shocker of my life.

What did I discover? Well, that is another story for another day. What I would tell you is that you really need to check this page very soon. It shows the essence of having friends that have got your back, praying and also the games that men play.

I hope you would join me for the concluding part.

See you soon,
Your ‘reality show’ Petite Diva.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

A COMPULSORY STOP TO MY WRITING

It has been a long, long, long time since I have been in the blog world. It has been so long that I don’t know what to write now that my computer has finally been repaired. I really should have gone to repair it a long time ago. I wish I didn’t always procrastinate. That is a major fault that I have, procrastination.

I have passed through a lot in past few months that I don’t know where to start now. I have so much to write about and I don’t want to leave anything out. I would have to write out a plan to write my story. I hope you would all come along with me as I describe the greatest adventure that I have had.

I am too excited to write much today but I promise to be back soon gisting you all on all that has happened in my life lately. How I had major drama in my life that though made me stronger I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I have never understood the term ‘been to hell and come back’ but now I do. I now understand why some people behave in a certain way.

See ya all soon.
Be Happy for the Petite Diva Is BACK!
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