So I guess that saying is true. After the whole incident and my ‘getting angry’, I started thinking about all that happened. I was wondering why I was not like the club hopping girls then I heard this voice saying ‘not everybody can be the same, you are different’. I also saw that I behaved badly, I should have just opt and left the area instead of sitting there and feeling horrible. I guess I acted like a brat. I am getting to the conclusion that I had been crazily jealous and I didn’t act properly.
As I came to that conclusion, I came across an article in a magazine ‘True Love’. The topic was ‘relationship wreckers’. The article was just what I needed. It pointed out most of my issues but the best part was it also suggested actions to take. What I loved about it was that the actions suggested were what I had already decided to do. It was a confirmation that I was on the right path.
I guess you guys want to know my sins/errors? Well according to the article (and also my petite divaish self) they are (get ready they are pretty much. I know that I have issues):
1. I am demanding.
2. I was trying to transform myself to what I thought would be more like him.
3. I was all about the relationship and had forgotten myself.
4. I was surrendering to jealousy.
5. I was trying to attach him to my hips (if the hips were big enough it might be not be so ridiculous…lol).
As I read the article which had been written in November 2005, I marveled at the fact that it was relevant to me in September 2011. I guess I am such a late bloomer or it shows that good articles/books can be helpful at any time no matter when they were written.
My first step to finding myself and changing was to talk to the boyfriend. And I have to say I almost chickened out when I saw his face (I hate confrontation and he looked so good. God! I am so sappy) but I wanted to get out everything so that it does not cause any problem later. It was actually good for us to talk because I was able to learn about some of his dislikes that I don’t intend to ever commit and learn about more things that I had to correct.
So I have resolved to take some actions to make sure that I am better female, one that does not cling to her guy. I want to be a kind of lady that can tell a guy to jump into a river if he screws up so bad, the type that can continue to have fun if a relationship does not work out and not sit at home wiping her face with tissues or handkerchief (guys that means crying). Because I have done that and it is not fun, it makes you appear weak. Besides, that is a typical response of most ladies that I know.
The actions are:
1. Go out more with other guys and girls. Leave just a day or 2 for him.
2. Make more friends.
3. Have fun without thinking about him at all.
4. Try to reduce the frequent calls (I feel I call him too much).
5. Try new things or adventures without involving him.
6. Learn a new skill or better yet find some where I can learn martial art.
7. Have ‘me time’.
8. Travel to different places without him.
9. Confess everyday when I feel weak that I can overcome my weakness.
Everything seems to be about me huh? Hell yeah! It has to be all about me now. I need to love myself, have confidence in myself and gain the strength to change my flaws. The boyfriend said I can’t do it overnight which I know but I can do it in a short while. And I am more determined to do so just cause he said I can’t do it overnight (I don’t like people saying I can’t do something it just makes me wanna do that thing). I really love what the boyfriend said when I told him of my plans, he said ‘after everything I should come back to him’. Sweet and confident of him huh? I really, really, really hope that I can or do ‘cos we never know what would happen. Let’s see how things go.
So there you are folks, all that I have learnt in the past few days. With everything that happened I am not sorry I got really tipsy and I went to the club, I have gotten better but it does not mean I would try it soon. Oh! I guess I have to apologize to the ‘friend’ for being such a spoilt brat. Arghhhhhh! I hate to do it but…… it is necessary as I really did behave like a brat. I should have dealt with the whole situation like a classy person, like the petite diva that I am. Well till I have the opportunity to that we would see.
I gotta go folks as I am about dozing off on my computer. I would let you all know my journey to being a better person, a better petite diva.
P.S: Does anybody know if calabar or port Harcourt has an amusement park? I saw a play area in a fast food restaurant and I remembered amusement parks. I really miss apapa amusement park. I really miss the scary rides, the horses and the cotton candy (a taste of sugar clouds). Ohhhhhh I am really missing the fun. I also want to drive the bumper cars now that I am tall and bold enough to do so. Please someone tell me that I can find one close to akwa ibom. I can pay you for the address (just kidding o!). Send me a message on my facebook page or 2go. THANK YA!