Friday, December 3, 2010


A lot has happened in the past one and half month. I don’t know where to begin. A major problem I have had is with my computer. It is not acknowledging my internet modem and not playing any CD I insert in the drive. I have tried to use my phone to update my blog but it is not the same thing, I can’t write extensively. I have to repair it very soon; I am just scared of going to meet anyone to touch my laptop. I will want to stay with the person throughout which might not be possible. I am afraid of the fact that they might have to clear all what I have on my laptop.

I know I have to repair it because I have not been able to browse and update my blog which sucks. Anyways back to my life, it has been one heck of an amusement park ride with various highs and lows.

One high that has given me pleasure lately is the fact that my mum’s health has been restored (THANK YOU GOD). It has been a very challenging year but I thank God that all is well now.

Another high and also the greatest low I have now is the fact that after a long time/ short time I have spent on this earth I finally fell in love. I used to think that maybe I was weird at times but I guess I was waiting for that person. The only problem is that I fell in love at the wrong time. The person, I personally feel from my heart is right for me but it seem everything is against us. The circumstances are just not right. I don’t know why it had to happen this way.

I don’t know how to explain everything. I thought I was strong or very smart when it comes to this heart / love stuff and I could get myself out of anything but I see now I am not as strong as I thought. How did I get myself involved in this situation? I have no freaking idea. It started out like an adventure just to spice up my life and writing and now I am deeper than I ever thought I would be.

I have always had a clear view of what I wanted and I was not going to settle for nothing less. However when I am with him I don’t feel I am settling for less, I feel like I have everything I wanted and more. He is no where close to my ‘ideal’ guy. Everything about him is way off the list but I don’t know what draws me to him. I am hooked, line and sinker. I really need the strength to get over my feelings for him. I sometimes try to work up why he is not good for me but I forget everything whenever I see him.

I am actually going to try an exercise I recently saw being done in a movie (just thought of it now). I am going to get a sheet of paper, on one side I am going to write all the good stuff about him and on the other side I am going to write all the bad stuff about him. If the good is more than the bad I will have to go with the flow on this ride, pray for the best and hopefully I would have God on my side to help me to win. If however the bad outweighs the good, I seriously need to fast and pray so that my feelings for fly away and I would be able to cope without him in my life. I would also write want exactly I want from all this. OMG! I think I am growing up faster than I thought in this NYSC year.

I always ask myself how I got into this. Does he have a spell or ‘jazz’ that he is using on me? Why am I so damned attached and attracted to him? Like I said if I put his qualities beside the ones I always thought I would love in a guy he wouldn’t come close so I don’t get why my feelings are all wacked up. I have met and would still meet better guys than him but I don’t think that they might make me feel this way (I however stand to be corrected. Anything they say is possible). I am so confused and probably need a shrink to help me psychoanalyze my feelings.

So here am I stuck in this impossible love that everyone seems to think and feel that I should get out of. This experience might hurt me much more than I can describe later but I want to forget everything now and just enjoy the feelings that I am experiencing. I am not sorry for my feelings, I am just sorry that the timing is not right. I am forever grateful for this experience and would never forget it. I don’t know what the future holds for me but I hope it would be full of great joy, peace and laughter. Lord, my future is in your hands, take absolute control.

That is enough yapping for today. Hopefully I would be back very soon with the results of my exercise and more insight into the world I am now living in. Meanwhile my former friend and I started talking and playing like before until recently. I am at a loss at what I did but I don’t freaking care. I am too old for all his nonsense mind games. I am not someone he can toss about. I should be the one angry but he is the one pulling the stunts now.

One of my girlfriends says that it is a typical thing that a guy who is in love with a girl but does not want to be does. He according to her tries to push her away. Whatever the case maybe, I am not interested in all that child’s play or ‘10 steps to win a girl’ crap. I am going to ride it out with him when he is tired and is back, I am going to bring out my ace card (in other words I am going surprise him BIG time). He is not going to know what hit him.

Well, I have to go now. I am writing this while on night call (I really hate this night call but a girl has gotta do what a girl gotta do).

Hope I can be back soon.
Luv ya, Petite Diva.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


We females are weak, no let me rephrase that we are soft hearted. I used to think i was strong or rather hard hearted till i fell into a situation where i can't seem to get out of.

I am involved in something that i have to get out of fast but i can't seem to get my brain to communicate with my heart and body to leave. I need to get angry enough to get out but nothing has pissed me off yet/ enough for me to go. However i am going to cause a situation to happen so that i can leave with my diginity and pride.

To all my peeps who tried to help me out of it, i appreciate you. I may not have followed it but i thank you for being a voice of wisdom in my life.

Petite Diva signing out . Hope to write soon.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Mini Post With My Phone

I recently bought a fone that allows me to browse directly so i will be able to post mini entries. I really have to repair my laptop. It has refused to recognise my internet modem and even accept all d antivirus that i have tried installing. I will have to result to uploading entries with this phone which is a Nokia C3 by the way.

Anyways, i gotta go. I hope to gist you about all what has happened in my life recently.

See ya later.
Petite Diva.

Monday, October 11, 2010


Hi everyone, this is petite diva reporting live from the A & E pharmacy of UUTH. This is a broadcast write up on my very first night call. I have been here since 4 pm and it is now 10:47pm.

The call started a little bit hectic not because there were a lot of patients at the pharmacy but as a result of my lack of knowledge. I don’t know where the drugs are and their prices. The pressure was so much that I made a mistake that I have never done before. I gave someone a drug without indicating how to use it. I hope I can correct the mess up tomorrow before anybody gets to hear about it.

The day started really well for me ‘cos I got a pleasant surprise. My previous boss had sent me some money (a lot more than I expected) and with this ‘no salary being paid’ situation we are in it was a wonderful surprise and a beautiful way to start the week after yesterday’s issues.

I am all alone now. My partner is sleeping for now while I am locked up in the pharmacy writing this. I also noticed that some patients or rather their relatives can be annoying. Can you imagine that someone wanted me to give her a drug without paying? She wants me to enter trouble. Trying to explain that I don’t have the authority is just so darn hard for them to understand.

It is now 12:05am and I am still awake, thanks to what I am doing (this write up) and coca cola. I hope I will be able to fall asleep soon and function properly later on today.

The night seems calm; I really hope it stays that way ‘cos this afternoon/evening was something else. I stepped into the A & E reception and the stench that came from there told me that a lot had happened. A lot of doctors were on ground and the patients were even more than they could handle.

I actually saw a woman been covered up, apparently she had died while waiting in the reception. She died on the bench. I don’t know what exactly happened but I felt and still feel bad. I wish I had not seen it or that I didn’t understand what happened. Now any time I see that bench I am going to remember what happened.

I really don’t think that I can ever value pharmacy if I am a hospital pharmacist. I was born to be a community pharmacist and that is that.

I have to go; the hospital is very quiet now. I hope it stays that way so that I can sleep.

So this is the end of my live report. All the way from Akwa-ibom, this is the petite diva signing out.

Luv ya.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


I don’t know about you all but I sometimes have a waay out of plan day in which nothing and I mean nothing goes according to plan. Everything seems to go wrong on those days and today was one of them. I am seriously not feeling this day. I don’t know if it has to do with the date (10/10/10) or today is not my day.

Let me gist you on all the activities that went wrong today. It started with
• Trying to cook something that I always cook this morning and totally messing it up (at least that is what I felt). To make matters worse I had a guest who though might be forgiving but I am not. I am such a perfectionist. HOW could I mess up in that part?.

• I have been attending a health, safety, security and environment course since yesterday. So i arrived there today for the last day of training thinking I would be alert and concentrate but lo and behold! the girl (me) was feeling terribly sleepy. I actually slept for some minutes before I decided to walk around and also get some sweets and chewing gum just to stay awake; after all I did pay for it.

• Then I came home at about 3 pm, happy that I can finally sleep for some hours only to discover that my room was locked. I had forgotten that my roommate had a lecture to give and had gone out with the keys. I called her and she assured me that she was on her way only for her to come back by 5 pm. So sleep was cancelled as it was too late for me to sleep again.

After noticing that things had not been working out like i wanted I totally refused to do anything else. Due to past experiences, once I see a day like this I refuse to do any other thing and just wait for the day to pass. I simply wait for the next day and pray to God that the next day, everything and I mean 'everything' works accordingly.

Anyways, tomorrow I am on night duty (call) for the first time in my life and I am not looking forward to it. I just hope the night load (i.e. emergencies) would be light. I would be sure to report live from the pharmacy/call room on the happenings. You guys should know that my very first call cannot happen without a little hype. I am after all the ‘petite diva’. This would be another one of my new experiences. Hopefully this internet service would be up and doing and not mess me up.

Oh! before I forget, something worth writing about happened. I was kinda pissed with myself about it but I think it is better it happened like that. What? You might wonder happened. Hold on, I am getting to it.

Before I noticed my locked room I went to see one of the ‘guys’ to conduct a business transaction and my former friend came to meet and was practically smiling at and joking with me. I was so stunned but managed to smile back.

I almost said some things but I guess shock made me shut up. He requested some thing from me and oh 'gullible' me gave it to him. He then said something that made me feel bad and I took it back but he later made good with his words. However I later felt used. I felt that he knows I am practically the only girl he has a friend that rarely takes from him but instead gives him. The most annoying fact about that is I try not to do that for guys so that I am not taken for granted but found that lately I have been doing that a lot for the 'guys'.

So for me to have a peaceful mind towards all this I have come to this conclusion that either he must have really needed it or he was looking for a way to settle our stupid 'no talking rule/rift' or he just wanted to get something out of me to feel he is smart. Which ever reason it is, I have decided that it does not matter. I have too many stuff on my plate to start worrying about his motives.

I might see him tomorrow and we might be back to our ‘no talking rule’ or we might be pick up from where we left off before all this drama came up. Whatever the case may be I am just going to take the days as it comes.

Till tomorrow (hopefully) my peps, hope you enjoyed today’s write up.
Petite diva signing out,
Luv ya.

P.S: Lately i have been seeing a lot of stuff that i have never seen before but have heard about. So i want to ask this question and hope i receive answers from you guys. Why do ladies give it up to a guy they barely know? I mean why do girls sleep with guys they might have known for a maximum of 1 or 2 week(s)? Are girls no more valuing themselves? Do they think it is all about sex? I would write what i think on this topic soon. i would really love to hear your views. I know i might be old fashioned.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I recently wrote an entry about my experiences and left a teaser to the entry on my Facebook page. Lo and behold I received some comments from my friends about a certain line that I used.

I intentionally wrote that line to give my blog a little pump but I think people are beginning to get the wrong idea. This has also happened with another entry in which the ‘guys’ thought that I had a crush on one of them. I don’t get why my words are been misinterpreted, okay some of them are meant to shock my readers (hey! writing will be no fun if it didn’t stimulate something in the mind of my readers).

So that aside, I think I should talk about my experience in the hospital. I really do not like the political drama of hospital pharmacy. I think I don’t like the fact that you have too many bosses when you are low on the office/pharmacy cadre. I like having one boss that I receive orders from or me simply being the boss. Having too many bosses make life one funky ride. One can be nice while another mean and out to get you. One can say you should do something a particular way while another will practically scream at you that you are doing things all wrong and you end up looking like a fool/dumb.

From my comments you can guess that I am comfortable with some of my bosses while some (especially one) are giving me headache. Well, they don’t know who they are messing with. I am going to break them ‘cos they have no choice than to love me. Why wouldn’t they? I am the ‘princess’ in the house, the one and only petite diva. They got no choice.

I like where I am because of the various pharmacies in the hospital. Different drugs are stocked in each of the pharmacy which means at various times you learn different drugs that are used to treat various diseases. I am going to make the most of where I am because I have plans to use this experience in the future.

Another problem that I have with the hospital (its management) is its inability to pay salaries on time. For the love of God when people work for you for a month, they deserve to be paid. I thought that now that I was working with the federal government at least payment will be made by 26th or 27th of every month but until today workers have not been paid. I don’t know what sort of pranks the management are up to but we will continue to watch them and hope they change for the better.

I gotta run. It is getting late and I need to sleep. Hope to back soon.
Luv, Petite Diva.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


On October 7, 2010 a very special friend is going to be a year older and I have decided to do a special tribute to him.

We met while we were in camp though we didn’t get to know each other that well then. It was after camp that we got closer due to our primary posting issues. He is one of the few people that I have come to roll with while I am here in AKS (that is akwa-ibom state). He is part of the people that is making me miss home a lot less than i thought i would as there is always something going on with the ‘guys’.

The GUYS are four for now but growing every day to include more guys. Why I am bothering to tell you this is because I would definitely refer to them a lot and I don’t want you to be lost later on.

Anyways, my friend is from another tribe that I seem to be surrounded by lately. He is one of a kind. He impresses me with his cooking prowess and the fact that he is not lazy about cooking which makes me happy for his future wife. She can be rest assured that her husband and kids will not 'die of hunger' when she can’t be there. And also of the fact that no maid or other woman can use food to take her husband from her.

He is good at his job and can be ridiculously playful at times. He has got his head screwed on right (at least most of the time). He is a focused business man which is really common with his tribe. That ain’t a bad thing as a guy has got to make the money for the family. Like it is said, ‘money makes the world go round’ (that is not necessary true). As long as the money is genuine I have no problem with it. I am always impressed with people who are business oriented.

To the eyes he ain’t that bad, scratch that... he looks good (boy! if you read this don’t get cocky, I am just saying the truth). He is the whole TDH (tall, dark and handsome) package and with the fact that he has got the pay and the profession that people value (he is a doctor), it is no wonder girls will be after him.

He is one of a kind and I feel blessed that I am privileged to know him. He is part of the reason why I have seized to question God on the fact that i was brought to this state.

So Dr Tochukwu, as you clock another year on this earth, I thank God for your life and for placing you in my life. I wish you the very best of life. May God grant you all your desires and may you have crowning success in all your endeavours (most especially the exam you just wrote). May you live to celebrate more birthdays, AMEN.

I wish you a very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Luv ya. Really wish i could bake you a very big cake but it ain't possible here.

Well, that is all for now folks. Hope to be back soon.

Petite diva.

P.S: I recently had my very first follower of this blog on the 4th of October and was pleasantly surprised. So I giving a very BIG shout out to Aikay Brown, my first follower. Thank you for thinking that my blog is worth your time and I hope I won’t disappoint you.

Monday, October 4, 2010


Lately I have been thinking of a lot of stuff that I had done this year especially here in Akwa-Ibom and was surprised with what I had done within the short time that I have been here.

This NYSC scheme has caused me to do lots of things that I never ever thought I would ever do so I decided to put in writing and amuse you all with my “firsts” in this life. Even if I do not appreciate this scheme for all it has put me through, I would be grateful for all the experiences that I have had.

So here we go:
1. Flying after a veery long time: I used to fly when I was a young girl but the memory had practically faded away so NYSC helped me in refreshing my memory and scaring me from using that means of transport for a short while. I am grateful for the fact that I used it so when I decide to go to a destination that I can only get there by that means I won’t be so terrified.

2. Going to the South-south Region of Nigeria: I have never left my home state to go anywhere for a long time (except for school which was close–by and still in the west), so going to the south-south where there has been a lot of bad stuff happening was a very new experience for me. Like I have said before, I didn’t even know where the state was. Now I know how the state is thanks to NYSC.

3. Sleeping with a guy in the same bed: Before you guys get funny ideas, I only slept in the same bed with the guy and did not sleep with the guy so ‘thou shall not go there’. That experience occurred because of a condition that I could not control and not because I wanted it. I was stuck and only one bed was available so we had to do what we had to do. I slept under the sheets and he slept on top of the sheets (just like I had seen it been done in movies) and with the lights on. I also made sure I slept at the outer side of the bed just to prevent any thing from happening even though I trusted him.

Did I mention that it was in a hotel/motel with other corps members around? I practically had to hide myself in the bathroom when a fellow corps member came in the morning so that she wouldn’t think otherwise. I know to some of you, you would say what is the big deal? But to me it is a very, very, very big deal. I value my reputation and I don’t like been called what I am not. So I had to behave like a ‘mouse’ hiding even though I had done nothing wrong but people would always be people and say what they want to say.

4. Staying in a Hotel for 10 days & nights: Due to the fact that I was stuck in this state while trying to change my place of primary posting I had to stay in a hotel (it can be called a mini hotel/brothel) for that long spending almost #25,000 on hotel bills. According to some, I was living it big but to me I just wanted to go home. I was tired of floating.

5. Traveling round the whole state: I am more of a sit at home rat/person but with all the whole trouble after camp I ended up going to various places in this state. I was practically jumping from one area to another. From Abak to Uyo to Ibesipko Asutan to Eket to Etinan and so on, you get my drift.

6. Carrying a bucket of water from a far distance: I have never carried a bucket of water from a far distance like a mile/ kilometer or something like that. I had to do that here. I have had to carry buckets of water from far distances just because where I am once there is no electricity for at least a day and half there will be no water flowing from the taps. And since the hospital management had decided not to include the doctor’s quarters in the hospital emergency electricity grid, we gotta do with the endurance carrying if we want to remain reasonably clean.

7. Learning stuff that I never knew: I have had my laptop for a while but there were so many things I did not know about it that I seem to have been enlightened about. There are also many stuff about life that I have had learn here all thanks to the guys that I have been rolling with. I would soon write about the guys. You might be amused by their antics.

Besides all the experiences, i have had to be reminded of the little and great things that I had taken for granted in Lagos. When I go back to Lagos (by God’s grace in December/January), I am going to appreciate every thing I have the chance to do. I have never appreciated the fact that Lagos has places like Galleria, Palms, all the cinemas and all the other fun spots or the fact that you can watch over 8 different channels without using Satellite TV. So if you see grinning from ear to ear when I am in any of such places understand my plight. The best part that I have appreciated about Lagos and missed a lot is the FABULOUS radio stations that it has. They are simply off the hook even the ones I didn’t listen to are far better off than the ones here.

Well, that is enough ‘firsts’ that I can think of for now. Hope I didn’t bore you. And for ya all folks who think I write well and have said it, I say THANK YOU. I take my inspiration from God through the books I have read and from Carrie Bradshaw of ‘The Sex and the City’ fame. Even though I am no where close to what she is supposed to be and there is no sex and city (New York) in my life. It is just me saying/writing what I feel when I like.

Till I write again, it is your petite diva signing out.
Luv ya all.

P.S: If you have any comments about anything I have written, you can holla at me here or on my Facebook page.

Monday, September 27, 2010


Hi, guys. Some major shake-ups have happened in my life lately since I wrote my last entry. So let me go straight to letting you guys know about them.

My former friend and I are still not talking or greeting each other and my friends decided to take it up on themselves to stop our feud. I was practically lifted up and tossed into the same room with him. We were practically given a mini lecture on how we should not keep malice. Both the Muslims and Christians among them quoted the Koran and Bible on the fact that we were not speaking to each other. So you can say that they carried out an intervention on the two of us. Apparently he had said to one of them that he was yanking my chains (playing with me). I don’t believe him.

They tried to make us speak to each other again. Did it work? I don’t think so because it is so hard for me to greet him. I don’t think I can ever gist / talk to him like I used to. I don’t know what has happened but I just can’t bring myself to flow with him anymore. I think we have drifted apart from each other or better yet I can say that I have moved on from our friendship. Like I said I don’t know if we ever be that close again but I am going to enjoy my life in this strange land without thinking of any ‘soap opera drama’ issues in my life.

On to the next shake-up in my life; I left my laptop on in the next house with the page of my rough write up for my blog open (unknowingly) and went for some minutes to my own house. I had a feeling that something was not right with my laptop in the next house. When I finally appeared at the house, I had a great shock of my life. Can you imagine that one of the guys I roll with was reading my blog write ups (that I had previously hidden from them)? I was so dumbstruck and practically screamed when he showed me the page he was on.

I probably would have gotten over it but he started saying stuff about the fact that the things i wrote were not new to him. He was implying that I had a crush on my former friend. I tried so much to let him know that was not so but his mind was made up. Apparently I used words in my previous entry that must have misled him to think so. I was simply writing the way I knew how to but it seems to have misled him.

So imagine stubborn me, I showed my rough write-ups to another guy friend who happens to be the first guy’s roommate. To my utmost surprise, he started laughing some minutes after. I was really surprised as I knew that I am did not write anything funny. What was funny? I asked him and he kept on laughing. He finally started stopped and you can’t imagine what he said. He agreed with what the other guy said. I was stunned.

That was not the essence of my blog write ups. I decided to write these entries as a way of putting a little spunk into my life. I think I love writing about my life and what I call my 'take on life'. So if writing from my heart is interpreted wrongly by people I don’t know what I can do about it.

The feelings that I had that night were basically three. 1. I was embarrassed because I was not emotionally prepared for people to read it even though I was still going to put on the internet. 2. I was hurt. I felt that way because they didn’t believe me when I told them what they thought was not the case. I was so close to crying but I couldn’t allow myself that luxury. 3. I was disappointed because the purpose of writing that particular write-up was defeated. I wrote it because of all the comments the guys had been making but ended up making it worse and giving them more ammunition to use against me. The only thing they said that made me feel okay was that I was a good writer. That was a compliment I did not expect but I seem to be receiving lately.

I tried to make them see reasons why I can’t have a crush on him but it was useless. They kept picking words that I had written innocently as evidence of it. I couldn’t convince them without being nasty to his personality.

So what I couldn’t say to them I am going to write here. I don’t care what happens but I need a sort of therapy for my heart and this is as good as I am going to get for now. So here I go again. I hope that I would be able to convey my feelings properly this time.

Why I can’t have any freaking CRUSH on this ’now oh so important person in my life’?

1. He is involved in a profession that I think those who practice it are not worth my time. In simple English, I can’t date or even marry anyone that is one of them. I just don’t get the hype about them and I probably will never get it. Girls or women or every other person might see something special about but I don’t. No matter how great the person is, one of his colleagues would remind me of why I have never and will never fancy them.
2. He has some habits that while as a friend I can ignore but as more I can’t. I can stand the habits. For it to be far away from me is enough for me. I can’t have someone like that hold a special position in my life. It won’t work. We will be at logger heads all the time. We won’t be at peace so why bother?
3. I have lived a safe and fairly good life. I have never had to see a rough side of people. I have always rolled with people who were of like minds. Our mindset I can safely say are not the same in 80% of things.
4. I feel I deserve better. No scratch that, I know I deserve better. I have lived my life the way I have to please God and Myself. I think the person I eventually end up with has to deserve me and value me. I will not put up with someone who does not appreciate how I have lived my life, who thinks that I have a life that is not worth anything.
5. I am a proud independent chic who can take care of herself. I may be a tiny girl but I am a lot tougher than people think. I also know my worth and won’t put up with crap in my life.

I could go on and on with more reasons but I don’t want to appear as if I am protesting too much.

I will also be honest and admit that I may have once thought that what a great guy he would be to have if he did not have all the habits that I can stand. However he is what he is and I am what I am, I won’t change and he won’t either. So we were better off as friends (or so I thought).

I actually asked myself this question: would I consider him if he ever cleaned up his act and I am free? My honest answer was NO. A very big NO, no that is not right. It is a very, very, very big HELL NO!!! I don’t think I can ever get past all his previous doings. I will always have a mental picture of everything he has ever done and I know that I can’t live with that. I guess I may be petty but that is me for now. I might get more mature later on and acknowledge that the past is the past but it ain’t easy; especially when you are actually seeing that person living the past (which is actually the present for now). I think it might be easy if the person is living the past away from you, when you don’t know the person yet. I hope you all get my drift.

I have to say that I thought that I might miss my friend badly but I think I am learning that not every thing happens the way you think it will. What I am trying to say is that, I am better than fine. I am not saying that I don’t miss the friendship but I am doing great even without it.

I don’t know what would happen tomorrow, if something would force us to get close again but I know I ain’t holding my breath. I am just too precious. So I go about with a joyful heart thanking God for each day, my family, friends and those I work with. I will leave tomorrow to worry about its self and enjoy my ‘present’ which is the present day that I am living.

Hope I didn’t bore you guys with my yada yada. I hope you were intune with me and followed me throughout. Hopefully my next entry won’t be as long as this.

Love to hear your comments. Gotta go.

Luv Petite Diva.

Saturday, September 25, 2010


So about that guy, the one I got close to while in camp. I don’t know how it happened, how the ‘special’ (that word is just for hype so don’t read anything to it) bond came about. I don’t know if it is because we worked together or we were just meant to be that close. Though I have never worked closely with these set of guys I have always been around them and couldn’t give a damn (forgive my language) about them. So I surprised myself with my open attitude to them.

About that guy, like I said I don’t know how we got close but we just did. I can’t explain if it was him or just the camp feeling but the comfortable feeling was there (at least on my part). It was a close friendship or playful friendship. I was always hanging around him and his friends. It got so bad that if somebody saw me alone they would always ask me where he was. A certain Nysc official actually made a remark that he must see a ring soon. If he only knew that there was nothing between us.

Our friendship to me was one that I don’t think I ever had. I think I felt safe and free when I was with him that is why I could be myself with him and tell him things I have never told anyone. We talked and played like best buds. That is what I appreciated about the friendship. I had always flowed better with guys and always wished that I could have a very close guy friend who would always be there even when he was through with all his distractions. If anyone has watched “Made of Honor”, then you would understand how our friendship was. There was that bond that couldn’t be broken by anyone (or so I thought). I watched out for his interests and he watched out for mine.

I later learnt some of his faults by being observant and some of them, he let me know. I was surprisingly not too shocked or disgusted. Let me go back a bit, for people who know me I have lived a kinda sheltered life and an 80% uptight moral life where most of the time black is black and white is white. There is almost never any grey area.

So to be confronted by such life would have sent me 10 kilometers away not just out of the friendship but also with serious disgust. However that was not the case, I don’t know if it was the camp or if I was finally growing up a bit or if it was the fact that I had been watching a lot of foreign reality shows or the fact that I was beginning to learn that no matter how bad a person was there are always, always good and great things about that person. Until you let yourself see the good part of people you would always take them on the face value as they portray and you may eventually miss having great people in your life who might teach you a thing or two that can help make you a better person.

My former best bud is great at his job, was always ready to put himself out for others while in camp even when they didn’t deserve in my opinion, great with people, jovial and playful when he felt like and much more. So the normally judgmental part of me was removed for a while and the ‘I must reform this person’ came in full force. It became my mission to transform him to be better. I was practically monitoring his movement to curb his excesses. Did it work? Maybe a little while we were on camp but out of camp, nothing I have done or said has worked.

We were posted to different places when the posting came out. He was where we always wanted to be but I was given a place that I didn’t know and was not interested in. I wasn’t mad, I was devastated beyond words. I have tried to be tough lately but that almost broke me down. I was in a new state, having issues all around me and now placed in an environment that I was not mentally prepared for.

I eventually went to the place and knew instantly that I would not cope and stay there. I finally worked myself back to where I wanted, which was not without troubles. However I was happy so I didn’t mind all the problems. I knew I was in for a stressful time but I never did shy away from work.

Oh! By the way the place I got reposted to is the same one he was posted to. For your information, I did not get reposted there because of him. I did it for me; I need the experience to be able to help me direct my path in life.

So we happen to live in houses opposite each other and were still close. Then issues about people and his lifestyle came up. I am sorry but I tend to try to fix people with my mouth. I talk and talk about a problem; I think people would call that nagging. I also noticed it was like I was treated indifferently. His attitude changed towards me or maybe I was the one who noticed that.

Sometimes the friend I knew was around sometimes he was not. It was like I was a nuisance and he didn’t want me around. I might have said some things about getting out of the relationship/friendship but I was just trying to shock him to a better friend. I don’t know what happened but I must have said something or he just wants to be the guy that he is, he said and I quote ‘do not call me, text me, greet me again; we would no longer be friends’.

I thought he was kidding like I always do but the next day; he actually did not greet me or acknowledge my presence in his shared flat. I am a very, very, very proud person. Don’t get me wrong not proud in the wrong sense of it but in the fact that I know what I am worth. I will never allow a guy whoever he is to treat me like a piece of rag. It won’t happen and can never happen. I will never allow it. I am a priceless gem, a princess at heart and a diva (I really hype myself a lot). Like they say if no one will hype you, hype yourself.

For God’s sake, it was just a platonic friendship we had. I AM NOT AND WILL NEVER BE INTERESTED IN TAKING FURTHER THAN THAT. Not again, not even if I had any other moment of weakness and especially not even when our mutual friends insinuate other things. I am too strong and old for that. I have got my head screwed on properly now. I am not saying that he is not good but he is not just for me. He is not ‘it’ for me but he will be perfect for someone else.

I know that I deserve more; God knows that I deserve more. I have been through so much (other people might say it is nothing but for me it is much, however I am grateful for the lessons that I have learnt through it) that I want someone who is going to appreciate me for me and not someone who wishes I was something else or tries to change me. And I deserve someone that I would love for him being himself and not try to change him (at least not completely).

So what did I do? I got angry and I have decided that I don’t need any drama in my life. I will not put up with too many episodes of suspense in my life. I want to have peace at least while I am in a strange land far away from home. I am going to ride out this storm and see where it is going to take me.

I don’t know if we are ever going to be friends or even be that close again but I am not going to wait around for that to happen. I am going to enjoy my work, my family, and my friends and make new ones. I will probably get hooked up (keeping my fingers crossed on this one) because while all this drama is going on God sent someone my way that had actually been there all this while but I had not noticed. Anyways, he is trying to step up his game and lay his cards on the table but I am seeing how far and well he can cope with me because I ain’t an easy lady to please or be with.

I don’t know if we will eventually date but I do know I love the attention and am quite interested in him too. I feel very good about this person and best of all; he is safe, very safe for me.

I am presently listening to Lionel Richie’s ‘You are’ and enjoying my present life even with all the problems that I have. I know that while the future might not be known to me, I am confident that all will be well because it is in God’s hands. We might still be best buds in future and we might not be but I know that I am grateful for the times we have spent and his life. I wish him the best of life from the bottom of my heart. May God help him find that which will give him peace, joy and fulfillment even when things don’t seem to be right.

There will be definitely more people in my life that will impact it in a positive way and I will always be grateful for their lives. So I will always be true to myself and grow in every area of my life and live it the best way I feel no matter what every other person feels as long as I know that I can defend it to the one that matters most: GOD.

Hope you enjoyed my story even though it is pretty long. If you have comments about anything you have read you can leave it here or my Facebook page. Luv to hear from ya!

So that’s all folks for now. I will be back with my ‘after camp life’ story soon; I am hoping you join me as usual.

Petite Diva signing out.

Friday, September 24, 2010


Hallelujah! I have finally been able to get an internet connection that I can afford and has coverage where I stay. I have been busy lately. I will be sure to let you know everything about it. However let me continue with my nysc camp story. Hope you enjoy it.

On getting to camp at about 2 pm that day, the camp officials at the gate insisted that we all opened our baggage so that they could check the contents. They were apparently looking for sharp objects, irons and heating materials. With that done, I dragged my box to where registration was starting. That was so stressful. Just imagine me, a very tiny lady dragging a mighty box (I always pack heavily, both necessary and unnecessary items).

I started the registration both at the main area and at the camp clinic pharmacy since I am a pharmacist. I don’t know if I can say that was a smart thing on my part as it became my own undoing because I was in for the time of my life with that pharmacy. I got to meet the first doctor that arrived at camp also known as the chief medical doctor (CMD) in a previous batch of corps members (though I didn’t know then) and also met the CMD that I was going to work with. Oh! Did I mention I was the first pharmacist to register which made me the Chief pharmacist?

I got to know the hostel and bed I was supposed to stay in for 3 weeks and quickly went to continue the registration. I didn’t finish until the next day when I even got into a bit of trouble thanks to the CMD and my lack of knowledge. I changed into my white shorts and shirt which was what we were to wear most of the time in camp. The kit I was given did not fit but I knew it won’t so I had come prepared with my own.

I worked in the pharmacy all day with the meager drugs we were given and was seriously praying for another pharmacist to come to my rescue. He finally came at the end of the day and promised to resume the next day.

He eventually came but was late; however it was better late than never. So I had a bit of free time when he behaved and stayed on duty. I however had gotten too used to the clinic surroundings and gotten close to some doctor guys so was practically at the clinic all the time.

I got especially close to a particular guy within the clinic corps staff and people thought that there was more to our friendship than it appeared to be.

I probably should continue with the camp life and the fact the waking up ay 3am/ 4am to have my bath with cooollld water was not my thing or that standing or jogging on the parade ground at 5am was annoying or the fact that I had to work from 5am till 2pm if I was on duty in the clinic was ridiculous or also the fact that I worked from the 2nd day I entered camp to the last day but I might not. Why? You might ask; I want to write on the friendship that I had with the guy I mentioned.

So expect a ‘full load down’ on my feelings about it. A lot of things have been occurring lately between us that I think I should write about it. This will be me being true to myself for me, myself and I. People might not like it but I have one life and I am going to live it the way I think is best.

I happen to have been in platoon 2, not actively though but the important people in the platoon knew that I belonged there. I also made some friends (not a lot) while in camp like my bunk mate, ‘side’ bunk mates and majority of the camp clinic corps staff. However due to my ever present face in the clinic; a lot of Nysc staff and corps members knew me. I keep on meeting people who greet me and I have no clue who they are.

I got close to the clinic head to the surprise of a lot of people but she reminds me of my mum and my last employer. It baffled them on how we can be close. So what! If we are close, somebody sue me!!

Like about 8 days to the end of camp I eventually got to meet a third pharmacist. She didn’t know that she was to report to the pharmacy. However I was glad for the fact that there was a third hand which meant shorter hours to work and more time to play/sleep.

Some activities that always seem to have an impact in the minds of corps members that we also did were the endurance trek, variety night with Miss Nysc and Mr. Macho as highlights, cooking competition and camp night (which I didn’t fully partake in any of them).

On the 26th of July, members of the medical team were taken on a field trip to Nigerian Maritime Academy by a prominent pharmacist in Akwa-Ibom. She owns TopCare pharmacies in the state. We were treated to a variety of delicacies known to the indigenes of Akwa-Ibom.

Camp came to a close on the 27th of July. As usually the ladies in my hostel room couldn’t wait to leave camp. They woke up by 2am and made sure no one else could sleep. We had a prayer session thanking God for our stay and putting our future into his hands. I was extremely grateful to God that we didn’t have any casualty with any corps member and Nysc official in the camp.

Camp came to a close with a match past/parade, a speech I didn’t listen to by the way and the handing out of posting letters.

The posting letter I received gave me the shock of my life. That story is for another day. I might not write on it soon as I would probably write about my friendship (or past friendship) with that guy.

I know that you all want to know all the details about that. So watch this blog regularly for the story. I might just put up the ‘no holds barred’ write up on sooner than you think. It would involve me writing from my heart, soul and mind. People would be shocked and attitudes hopefully changed.

Hope to see you soon.
Kisses from the Petite Diva.

Friday, September 3, 2010


Thanks for joining me again. Hope you loved the previous episode of my journey into this new life that I have to live for the next one year?

Well,another saga begins and it starts at the airport on the 6th of July, 2010. I got to the airport with my mum and a very big box on a not too rainy day very early (in fact too early for me), weighed my box and was seriously praying that it didn’t weigh more than 20 kg ‘cos I was not going to pay any more money (I had spent too much). To my surprise and pleasure it was 20.05kg, so I was very fortunate.

Theeen the waiting began. I arrived at 8:45 am, checked in by 9:10 am and started waiting for 11 am which was we were supposed to take off. The problem was necessary the waiting it was the ample time it gave my fears to take a hold of me. I used to travel by air when I was younger (and always with my parents) but I have grown up and know all what can happened to make the plane go down.

I was seriously praying against every form of problem that I could think of. I might have appeared calm but I was practically shaking. 11am came and we were not yet called to board the plane. 11: 30 am and still no call, by 11:45am we heard an announcement that our flight would be delayed due to some technical issues. My mind went into overdrive. I was like I knew it! Something is going to happen. ‘Technical issues’ Is that not the term that is used when something is really wrong with the plane?

By 12 noon, we were called to board the plane, by 12:15pm we were ready to take off. I was shaking and praying while we were leaving the runway. Ascending up was just something else, it is something that I don’t think I can describe. The seatbelts were to be used when taking off, in the case of turbulence, and when landing. Mine was locked THROUGHOUT, I didn’t even move to stretch or go to the ladies. Why would i? I was shaking; meanwhile the 2 guys at my side were busy sleeping. I felt like hitting there heads with my shoe. How DARE anyone sleep when I am so scared?

We got hit by turbulence the first time and it was not a funny issue. Apparently it was not going to be the last one. It was a rainy afternoon in almost every state that we passed through to Akwa-Ibom. We got hit by turbulence too many times for me to count. I was so scared that I closed my eyes every time that it happened. And guess what? People around me were practically nonchalant about the whole flight.

I think I must have finally calmed because I know I dozed off for about 20 minutes and woke up when we were almost near Akwa-Ibom.

Landing was something else. I grabbed the arms of the seat almost throughout and vowed that once I got my feet on the ground I would say a long prayer of Thanks to God. I also vowed not to enter a plane to go back to Lagos. I was going to risk it and take a bus.

After landing, the issue of how to get to the Nysc camp site become prominent in my mind. Fortunately for me, I meet some girls and a guy that happened to have finished from my school going to the same camp site. One of the girls had an uncle who lived in the state, so he was able to take us to the camp site.

Camp life was a very, very, very, very new experience for me and one that is going to be a very long story so why don’t you all join me later on for my thrilling and stressful adventure of camp life.

Hope you join me soon?
Keep checking this blog for my life story.

Luv, Petite Diva.

Monday, August 30, 2010


Hi guys! It has been a very long time since I have been around the blog world but it has been for a good (or so they say) reason. I have been away from my state and computer for more than two months because I was called up to serve my country in a scheme called NYSC. For those who are not familiar with this, NYSC means NIGERIAN YOUTH SERVICE CORPS.

It is a scheme in which young (or thereabout) graduates serve their country immediately after school with the exception of some medical fields like pharmacy, medicine and medical lab science where the graduates are expected to undergo training for a year. It can be likened to been drafted into the military for a year but in this case it is paramilitary. It is supposed to be compulsory for every graduate except those who are beyond the stipulated age (30 yrs) but due to some serious flaws in the scheme some people opt out of the whole trouble I mean scheme.

Part of the aims of NYSC is to make Nigerians experience the different cultures of the country as we have a loooot of tribes so unless you can work your way to staying in your home state you will find yourself in different sometimes far away from your state.

I live in Lagos (always have except when I schooled in Ogun which was close to Lagos so it wasn’t that bad) and now I am in Akwa-Ibom. When I heard that I have been posted here I was in a total state of shock, and then came a serious wave of anger. I was livid; I didn’t even know where the state was. I had to go online to search for a map of Nigeria to know where it was. I had to find out who the Governor was, what language apart from English that they spoke and basically any information that I thought would help me.

After it had sank into my brain that I would be going to Akwa-Ibom the issue of how to get there now became an issue. Do I fly there or do I go by road? Where do I get a good road transport company? What time do they set off on the road? My biggest question: HOW MANY HOURS WOULD I SPEND ON THE ROAD? You might ask why I was concerned with the time. It is because I HATE sitting in a bus for long period of time and I did not want a case of entering a strange land in the middle of the night. So while I was still contemplating what transport system to use, I got a jolt into helping me make my decision. Road transport would take a minimum of TWELVE HOURS and that is if we don’t have any problems on the way. This meant that we could use 14 hours or 16 hours depending how fast the driver is.

I went straight to the airport to book for a flight a day before when I was to leave Lagos. What airline I would use depended on the time of take off. I did not want a case where I would be late for my flight. I eventually chose the one that was convenient for me and paid for it. The money wasn’t cheap but it was going to take me just ONE HOUR to get there which was what I loved.

Now getting to the airport and waiting for the flight was a whole new experience.

And that experience I would write about later (which might be sooner than you think). I have so much to write on. Like my experience in the airport and plane, camp life, the weeks that followed camp and how I coped, a list of the things that I have never done that I have now had to do, my relationship with some certain guys that are now in my life and so much more.

I really hope you join me in my story telling of a very new and adventurous life that I am forced to live now. I hope you enjoy it.

See you very soon,
Petite diva signing out.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


I was going through my digital camera and saw some photos that i had forgotten about and was about to delete. So i decided to do a theme posting for each set of pictures that i had. I hope that you all love it.

Well, today i decided to have a sky theme. I was feeling like a professional photographer thinking i have the gift to capture the sky. I don't know if i got the essence of the beauty of the sky but i just love the way it looked that evening.

Hope you enjoy the photos.

Well, that is all folks. That is my shot at capturing the environment. Hope it will be better next time.

Gotta go,
Petite Diva.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


I am not really a football fan but anytime my country's team is playing i like them to win. I used to watch it whenever they play but when they mess up i begin to insult the heck out of them. So i have decided to stop watchiing football matches of both my country and the club i like (CHELSEA).

Congratulations to Ghana and England for making it to the second round of the ongoing world cup.

Look at the faces of these England fans.

Enjoy your win, guys. And to think that a black guy that was brought as a substitute was the one that scored the goal, i wonder what would have happened if he didn't come for the world cup.

Okay, that is enough football talk for now.
See ya soon,
Petite Diva.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I don't know what is happening to me today. I have been in a dancing mood since morning, right from church. This is the reason why i can't gain weight. I will simply dance off the weight.

Well i should enjoy the day as it is back to work tomorrow for me.

Petite Diva.

P.S: I saw this pix of prince harry and prince william. I can't imagine why they allowed them to put it on them. Ewwww, me i would have been screaming my head off and running for my life.

Saturday, June 19, 2010


That statement is really strange for me to say or write because a year ago i did not think i was going to continue being a pharmacist. I just wanted to finish the 1 year internship and 1 year youth service.

Let me back up a little for people who don't know me. My mum is a pharmacist and since i was probably 8yrs i knew that i was going to be a pharmacist cos it had been decided that i was going to study it, i had no choice. So when i was in pharmacy school i just wanted to pass my exams because failing at it was not acceptable to me (and my parents) and get out of school to find what i loved.

I wanted to do my internship in the hospital because of the money that was been paid but i guess God had bigger plans for me. I could not secure any place fast enough and i didn't have the patience to wait for a spot to open up for me in any hospital so i decided to apply at a community pharmacy near to me. The interview was weird i think i just said about 3 sentences and i was employed.

And that was the beginning of my journey to this point where i find myself loving what i do. I don't know how or when it happened but i feel that way even when things do not seem to work the way i want it to on some days.

I love selling products that seem to difficult to sell, i love when someone who is shivering, having a banging headache or embarassing problem comes to meet me and i can help him or her feel better. Nothing beats the feeling of helping someone. Most of the time i don't remember my customers/patients but they come and begin to tell me how i helped them and i am shocked.

My boss who is not with me all the time seems to love me and is seriously impressed with me. Why? i have no idea. I am just being myself and i am actually grateful to her for giving me the chance to see what makes her organisation tick. I am thankful to God for directing my path to her company, i might never have gotten close to any other person in their own company.

Well, that is enough rambling for one night but let it be said i know part of what i am going to be. And that is a community pharmacist in addition to all what i am going to be. What other things am i going to be? you might ask. That is for me to write later and for you to find out.

Petite Diva.

Friday, June 18, 2010


Recently i have been using facebook as my blog but the irritating stuff about it is that i can't write more than 400 words or something like that, so i decided to create a new blog that i can write what i want without editing it to fit the 400 words maximum.

Hopefully i would try to make this blog very interesting, not only entertaining you but also teaching you something valuable.

Here is to an wonderful blog experience.

Petite Diva.
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