I really don’t know how to start this post. I have been staring at my computer for the past one hour and I seem confused on how best to put my feelings into words. I think I am having a writer’s block (that feels good to say or write). I hope this post would be great.
I don’t know how it happened but lately I have been feeling a little differently for my first love. I have gone from being in love with him to just wishing and hoping we would be good friends.
I think I just got tired of being made to feel like I am a child. I know I am not perfect but that does not mean I should be made to feel like I am stupid. I make mistakes, please someone should show me somebody who does not make them too and I would tell you that either the person is the biggest liar on earth or the person is ‘Jesus Christ’.
He makes me feel like I am a child sometimes so I guess after some stroking I just got fed up and the feelings started waning. Nowadays when he starts I just keep quiet and let him vent. When he is calmer I start talking. I guess I am thinking of my future and don’t want anything I say to be used against me later in life. I am usually a person who gives as well as I get but I am getting tired of the whole defender of myself attitude with him. It seems to be the same thing all the time and it is getting tiring.
That is what I have been doing lately with every situation I find myself in. I just shut up and let people do all the talking because in future the same people could use those words against me.
I have always gone through life with the feeling that I may not be the best person but I don’t deserve the worst. I don’t deserve someone treating me in a bad way. I try to treat everyone with respect (I may not be successful but I do try), so I think I deserve the same treatment.
Anyhow, my old feeling of ‘loving myself and being grateful for my life’ seems to be back. So everything seems to be child’s play now. I would hold on and hold out waiting for the right person for me till then I would try to enjoy myself, who knows I might have met the person who would love me for me and treat me as a grown up. I would definitely keep my fingers crossed.
That is all for now folks. Thank you for reading my blog. I should be back soon. Hopefully I won’t have another writer’s block.
Luv ya all.