THE INTUITION OF GUYS.........

Hey lovelies how are you doing? I am a bit out of breath I just completed my 15minutes of exercise. I added 20 squats to my regimen and I am really happy. I don't know if I would include it in my next session but I am happy knowing that my butt had some boosting exercise today (yep! It is said that squats help to boost the size of the butt....I don't know if it is true o).

RELIGION OR A RELATIONSHIP?

Heads up guys, this post would get you thinking spiritually so if it is not your cup of tea you might not want to read it but I dare you to read the whole post. Why? Because I can guarantee that you would pick up a few things that might change the way you think in life.

So I stumbled, like literally stumble on a film on youtube while watching different ways to style box braids and I am glad that I did. It was like God wanted me to watch it cos I had never heard of the film before. The name of the movie is ‘Another perfect stranger’ and yes, it is a Christian movie.

The movie tackles the fact that most people are not in a relationship with God but are just religious. I hope I am able to explain this well. What they meant and what I understood is that we are so focused on what ‘people’ expect you to do in your religion that we forget that it is not about people it is about a personal relationship. I would be focusing on Christianity because that is all I know but I know for my Muslim readers and friends, some of my points would make sense.

In the movie, the lead actress’s parents tried to make her accept Jesus into her life but the girl felt they were being too religious and they had a big fight. Then on the plane, a guy heard her when she was complaining to a friend and also tried to make her see that her parents were right. I have no problem with that, he meant well but was going about it in a wrong way. Personally I felt it was a bit forceful.

Later on in the flight, she starts to talk to another guy by her side and they discuss about religion and how people have left the focus of what it is to the way it should be. He said something about the way American Christians are and I am like, if you guys are complaining about American Christians then what would they say about the way Nigerians have turned religion into. They continue to talk throughout the film and the man lets her know that having a personal relationship with God is the ultimate and that when you have a personal relationship with God, he would direct you and teach you on how to walk with him.

At the end of the film, the lady realizes that it was Jesus that had been talking to her all that time. And then she understood what her parents were talking about.

So now here are my personal thoughts. I agree with what the 'Jesus' in the movie said. A lot of people especially Nigerians are practicing religion. They think that if a person doesn’t act in a certain way or do things in a certain way then the person is not a Christian (or a muslim as the case may be).

Take me for example, I am an Anglican (born and decided to stay an Anglican). In school most people were attending Pentecostal fellowships and I choose to continue going to an Anglican church and you would not imagine the amount of flack I got because of that. I used to get angry till one day, it was revealed to me that I had no reason getting angry. 

If i was able to connect with God and he with me in my Anglican church then I had no reason to get angry. Besides I was not the owner of the church, he was, so I needed to leave it to him to defend his church and concentrate on what mattered. Funnily after that day, when people thought they were being spiritual about telling me that my church was not a church I had such peace within me and couldn’t get angry. And you know what, people stopped talking after a while (I don’t know why they did).

I still get the side eye from people when they ask what church I attend and I say Anglican but when I say Anglican, I say it with pride. I ain’t ashamed of my church. I get that we are not like the newer generation churches but the aim of a church is not to focus on rituals or the supposedly way you feel a church should be. The focus is CHRIST and on how to be a better Christian. Funny, most people don’t know that when I was younger, we used to attend Pentecostal churches. I have been to celestial church of Christ, winner’s chapel, Redeemed Christian Church of God, Victory Christian Church and some other churches and even Catholic Church. So I know what goes on in other churches.

I have no problem going for programs in other churches but it is not the same way with other people. I think they feel that Anglican Church is for old people. I don’t know about that but I know I love my church. I love the hymns, I love the routine, I love the organizational structure. I love the fact that people don’t have full authority and that they are accountable to a higher/more senior person. I love the fact that things can be mixed up, today we can be the old Anglican way and tomorrow we can be a different way. Today we could be all about hymns, tomorrow we could sing praise and worship songs all day. 

A friend came to see me at church one day and eventually stayed for the service. He was so shocked that the way he thought Anglican was, was not what he saw at all. I think he left there a changed person (I hope). I appreciate all the other churches and wish people would appreciate my church too. To think about it, most of the general overseers of the Pentecostal churches have no problem with orthodox churches, it is the followers that have the attitude. I wonder why? I could be wrong though.

The point I am trying to make here is that people need to stop assuming things because of the church a person goes to. We all can’t act or worship God in the same way. The most important thing in our lives should be our walk with God. I have stopped comparing my Christian race (and life race) with other people because I am not other people. I am ME and God wants me to be ME with him. 

I might not be able to sing or act or be a lay reader or a priest or the head of a group or pray for hours or pray the way that people expect a Christian should pray or preach or do so many things that people assume that if you are a good Christian should do. I might be able to sweep the church floor or clean the pews or help decorate the church hall or help a kid in church or calm a kid who is crying in church or feed the kids in church so that they are calmer and can allow their parents to hear the word or scrub the toilets in churches so that people can use the toilet when they need to use it or adopt kids even when I am single or sponsor the education of a child I don’t know or do things that make no sense to others. The thing is if it coming from your heart and it glorifies him, i feel God would take you doing what you can do than what you feel people think you should do. So If feel in my heart of hearts, that i am doing what glorifies God, why would I look at what others are doing and do those things so that I can appear normal.

Watching the film reminded me that this life is a personal race and nobody can run it for you except you and no one can show you how to run it except God. So for people out there doing things because it is what others are doing when you know that is not exactly what God wants you to do, I dare you to do what God wants you to do for a while and see if you don’t have a greater peace and feel more in tune with God. Hey, what do you have to lose? You don’t feel it, you go back to your old ways and no harm is done.

The most important I need you all to know is exactly what was said in the movie, you can only find fulfillment with God and not in human beings or things. Having a personal relationship with God and not following a religion is the ultimate. Because at the end of this life, I don’t think God would ask anyone if they were a Christian (or a Muslim) but I feel he would ask ‘Did you know me personally?’

That is all folks, I wanted to talk about how reflecting on all these made me also thinking about my life and where I am today but I think I should stop here today. I have yapped too much. I hope I was able to help someone reflect on their lives and their standing with God. I know that I might get a few comments that I might not like but it would be worth it if even one person’s life is changed for the better.

Luv ya guys,

Petite Diva.

THE LAST 30 DAYS: LAPTOP CRASH, RELATIONSHIP CRASH AND SHOPPING……MEGA SHOPPING STYLE

Okay folks, I know you have been wondering where I have been for the past one month or so. Well I was in Las gidi aka Lagos. Actually the week before then I had gone to Calabar, Cross rivers for a scientific conference and I had a swell time (would be posting pictures soon).

I was on leave for a month and I went home (Lagos), it felt so good to be back home. I had not been home for almost 6 months and I really did miss home and my family. However, while I was at home my laptop crashed and my relationship with babes seemed to be going nowhere. For those who don’t know about Lagos, Lagos is the economic capital city of Nigeria. That means that you can get anything in Lagos and the best part is that most things are usually cheaper in Lagos than anywhere in Nigeria. With that noted and considering the state I am presently residing in, I went super shopping crazy.

I have decided that I would write this entry in a comparison way, which means I would state the good and bad of my little adventures. I hope you enjoy.

Laptop Crash

The Good
My laptop crashing was an annoying setback to me. While I could have repaired it in Lagos, I didn’t know anybody I could trust and I am a bit skeptical of giving people my laptop considering all the reports I have heard of people coping their files (not like I have any nude pictures on my laptop but I want my crazy worthless files to be mine alone).
However by it crashing and me not repairing it in Lagos, I came back to Akwa Ibom and gave it to a wonderful guy that changed my operating system to a windows 7 and also uploaded films, games and the best part, a reference book called “martindale” that I was wondering how I would ever get it. Because he knew I was a pharmacist and he was used to dealing with pharmacists he put it on my system for me. I was so delighted and touched and that made the laptop crash a good thing after all. *smiling…….

The Bad
I couldn’t update you guys on my escapades and I just remembered I didn’t take any pictures to show you guys. What a major mess up!


Shopping till I dropped
The Good

I literally shopped till I dropped actually it should be shopped till all the money I had left was transport fare and feeding money for a few weeks. Everything was super cheap and I compared the prices here in Akwa ibom and Lagos and just knew I had to buy a lot of things so I don’t need to buy anything here. The good part of buying things in bulk was that I ended up saving lots, lots, lots of money since things here are practically too expensive. I guess that is been financial savvy. I loved every bit of my shopping. I loved getting good bargains for wonderful items that I needed. I guess I am a bit of a shopaholic.

The Bad
I was super, super broke that I couldn’t afford any excesses. My mother paid for the cab that took me to the park and helped me take my bags to the cargo service. Then I had too much load that I was weary of carrying them. My mum actually laughed at me and complained that I had too much load. She said I was going to get billed a lot (surprisingly I wasn’t billed that much). I also wondered how I would carry the load to where I could get a vehicle but in the end God took care of everything. So it wasn’t that bad.

Relationship Crash
The Good
Babes and I had been having issues for a while but I guess going home made me realize that we really needed to work on the relationship. When I came back, I thought we would see and talk but his work and attitude decided that we couldn’t see, I just flipped and quit the whole thing. Someone said something that day, ‘sometimes some hardships or challenges have to happen for you to get great outcomes’ (paraphrased).

Basically he was talking about some challenges causing you to let go of things that were problems for you so that you can get greater things. He was actually talking about a senior colleague’s brand new car. The good part of the break up, at least when I am doing things alone I know that I am without a boyfriend. And when I am calling or initiating a chat, that he doesn’t need to answer and I am fine with that. And also now I am free to do whatever I please, my time is my time.

The Bad:
I miss him a lot. I am sad that it didn’t work out. I guess you can’t change a person, you either cope with it or move on. He can only change himself. I don’t know if it is the military that seems to make him worse than when he was in school or his past with other females or it is just who he is but I just wish things had worked out. However I trust God to do what is best for me. I am determined not to think it is my fault but just the way things have to be for now.

Well, that is all folks. I am sorry it is super long but hey it is a recap of more than 30 days.

Hopefully I would post a shorter write up tomorrow. I am back to work so I hope I won’t be too tired.

Love ya guys and missed you a lot,
Petite Diva

P.S: I am 5 months post relaxer (for my hair) and planning on chopping the remaining relaxed hair on my head this weekend. I am excited and anxious. Hopefully I would be able to have the long healthy hair that I desire. Wish me luck folks.

LOVE CAN GROW AND LOVE CAN DIE

Hey guys, I stole this story from a friend on BBM. I thought it was a pretty good story to share with you guys. I don’t know if the story is real but I do know that the situation is real in some marriages/relationships. I hope you enjoy the story and grab the moral of the story. I would write my thoughts after the story.

Enjoy:

My name is Dayo. I am a typical Nigerian Guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot. I get to hang out with the sickiest guys every Friday night and secondly, it is another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted, I love her to pieces. It is just complicated; like I wish we had never gotten married. Marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for 5 years.

A lot of people say it is unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems. They just want to breathe like me. I forgot to mention that I work in Guaranty Trust Bank in Lekki. I love my job and my job loves me. Maybe it is because I’m the senior banking officer (lol).

This particular Friday morning, a lady breezed into my office and my heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact she was chubby but her smile, cuteness and …..i was tripped. ‘Hi. Good morning. Your ATM card swallowed my card!’ she said and then laughed, quite unlike a typical customer that would ram you. I just tried to form boss (lol)…”Good morning, you know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled and thought GTB sha!

‘Ok, can I drop my phone number so you can call me up or just send a text when it is ready so that I don’t come here twice? Please? My name is Nancy’ She blinked her eyes in a funny way. “Sure” I said and smiled. We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday, I thought.

So it was 10pm and I headed to the club, as usual my friends were waiting for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I am never at home on Friday nights. ‘Look at you!’ I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy. “Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her again but I was happy that I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again. “Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise. “Wanna dance?” I didn’t even have the chance to answer; she had already pulled me to the dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me. She was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point, we decided to go to a private area and we talked about everything, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible. I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting. Any guy would want to be with you all day” I said. “I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad”, she sang. Then her phone rang….”Hey Baby! Yeah, I’m at the private lounge. I’d like you to meet someone….alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual. I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You are late! Meet Dayo; I met him this morning. He is helping me with your ATM card I told you that got trapped in the machine and Dayo, this is my B to the O O”, she laughed. “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every other Friday; away from work, stress and kids”. “Wow! A pleasure” I managed to shake him. Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said. They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating! “Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th birthday tomorrow. It would be an honor”. She brought out an I.V from her purse. I began to feel ashamed of myself …..this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.”See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat, Kolade?” She talked and dragged her husband along. They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Friday? Why didn’t I ever think of that?!

Temi loves to dance, she also likes long walks, and she loves jazz music. There’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary. I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my Ipad and I realized that I had denied her of all. I had made her the old woman that she acts like. What on earth was I doing here?! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar.

Temi’s call came through and I picked at the first ring. “Temi?” My heart raced. “I know you are not coming home….”she said. “I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her. “Are you alright?”She asked. She was shocked, I supposed. “And I would like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple” I told her. “You sound different, Dayo” “Maybe I’m different” I said. “Don’t say it! Don’t say it!! When you come home we would gist very well" she laughed. She laughed! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago.

Dear readers, I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day with your partner , having a day in the week that’s exclusively for both of you-No friends or kids allowed.

Ladies, when was the last time you told your guy that he is so darn hot? Guys! When last did you tell your lady that she is the sweetest thing in the world? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’? let’s learn to do all these before it is too late.


There! I am through with writing it. Whew!! I didn’t know it was such a long write. I am too tired to write anymore. I would write my thoughts on it, what I learnt, what I feel and point out a little bit of what might have been off in the story. However it is a good read and I hope you guys agree.

Check out this page tomorrow and see what the Petite Diva has to say about it. Now it is time to sleep!

Luv ya guys,
Petite Diva.

The calm after the storm: 3 days after.

So I guess that saying is true. After the whole incident and my ‘getting angry’, I started thinking about all that happened. I was wondering why I was not like the club hopping girls then I heard this voice saying ‘not everybody can be the same, you are different’. I also saw that I behaved badly, I should have just opt and left the area instead of sitting there and feeling horrible. I guess I acted like a brat. I am getting to the conclusion that I had been crazily jealous and I didn’t act properly.

As I came to that conclusion, I came across an article in a magazine ‘True Love’. The topic was ‘relationship wreckers’. The article was just what I needed. It pointed out most of my issues but the best part was it also suggested actions to take. What I loved about it was that the actions suggested were what I had already decided to do. It was a confirmation that I was on the right path.
I guess you guys want to know my sins/errors? Well according to the article (and also my petite divaish self) they are (get ready they are pretty much. I know that I have issues):
1. I am demanding.
2. I was trying to transform myself to what I thought would be more like him.
3. I was all about the relationship and had forgotten myself.
4. I was surrendering to jealousy.
5. I was trying to attach him to my hips (if the hips were big enough it might be not be so ridiculous…lol).

As I read the article which had been written in November 2005, I marveled at the fact that it was relevant to me in September 2011. I guess I am such a late bloomer or it shows that good articles/books can be helpful at any time no matter when they were written.

My first step to finding myself and changing was to talk to the boyfriend. And I have to say I almost chickened out when I saw his face (I hate confrontation and he looked so good. God! I am so sappy) but I wanted to get out everything so that it does not cause any problem later. It was actually good for us to talk because I was able to learn about some of his dislikes that I don’t intend to ever commit and learn about more things that I had to correct.

So I have resolved to take some actions to make sure that I am better female, one that does not cling to her guy. I want to be a kind of lady that can tell a guy to jump into a river if he screws up so bad, the type that can continue to have fun if a relationship does not work out and not sit at home wiping her face with tissues or handkerchief (guys that means crying). Because I have done that and it is not fun, it makes you appear weak. Besides, that is a typical response of most ladies that I know.

The actions are:
1. Go out more with other guys and girls. Leave just a day or 2 for him.
2. Make more friends.
3. Have fun without thinking about him at all.
4. Try to reduce the frequent calls (I feel I call him too much).
5. Try new things or adventures without involving him.
6. Learn a new skill or better yet find some where I can learn martial art.
7. Have ‘me time’.
8. Travel to different places without him.
9. Confess everyday when I feel weak that I can overcome my weakness.

Everything seems to be about me huh? Hell yeah! It has to be all about me now. I need to love myself, have confidence in myself and gain the strength to change my flaws. The boyfriend said I can’t do it overnight which I know but I can do it in a short while. And I am more determined to do so just cause he said I can’t do it overnight (I don’t like people saying I can’t do something it just makes me wanna do that thing). I really love what the boyfriend said when I told him of my plans, he said ‘after everything I should come back to him’. Sweet and confident of him huh? I really, really, really hope that I can or do ‘cos we never know what would happen. Let’s see how things go.

So there you are folks, all that I have learnt in the past few days. With everything that happened I am not sorry I got really tipsy and I went to the club, I have gotten better but it does not mean I would try it soon. Oh! I guess I have to apologize to the ‘friend’ for being such a spoilt brat. Arghhhhhh! I hate to do it but…… it is necessary as I really did behave like a brat. I should have dealt with the whole situation like a classy person, like the petite diva that I am. Well till I have the opportunity to that we would see.

I gotta go folks as I am about dozing off on my computer. I would let you all know my journey to being a better person, a better petite diva.

Luv ya,
Petite Diva.

P.S: Does anybody know if calabar or port Harcourt has an amusement park? I saw a play area in a fast food restaurant and I remembered amusement parks. I really miss apapa amusement park. I really miss the scary rides, the horses and the cotton candy (a taste of sugar clouds). Ohhhhhh I am really missing the fun. I also want to drive the bumper cars now that I am tall and bold enough to do so. Please someone tell me that I can find one close to akwa ibom. I can pay you for the address (just kidding o!). Send me a message on my facebook page or 2go. THANK YA!