Thursday, November 17, 2011


I would like someone to please explain why men have fidelity issues. They expect women to be faithful but can’t stay faithful. When a woman does a number on them they call her a slut or a heartless b***h, like they are saints and have not done so to other women.

I really get annoyed when men say as the excuse for their infidelity is ‘we are just like that’. That is a trailer load of bullshit! (please forgive my French). Men are not made like that, you all have made yourself like that and think that reason should be enough.

I guess I am a bit mad today. I recently found that the husband of someone I admire is creeping around with some other chic. It took everything I had not to curse the guy. For crying out loud, this woman has everything that most guys want. The fact that she is married has not made her lazy. There are so many men (younger, her age mates and older) that would give a lot to be with her. And he is messing AROUND!.....arrrgggghhh!

Learning about that just made me think of how hard marriage is. Pastor Okonkwo of love, sex and marriage says his wife says that marriage is a lifetime working venture. That you wear your wedding clothes once (I tend to disagree with that, if you are quite savvy you could wear it more than once by just adjusting it a bit but then you have to use your sense when getting a dress) and after that you put on work clothes.

It really amazes me when I hear of people who after dating for 3 months not only decide to get married but actually get married. I would definitely tell you ‘congrats’ but I would also think you must be very silly (luckily none of my friends have done that). I know some churches have a minimum courting period and won’t marry you if you have been dating for less. Some might disagree with it but even though I am not a member of those churches agree. You cannot know someone fully in 3 months except God reveals everything about that person to you. Marriage is much more than the whole ‘owambe, aso ebi, I am married can you see my large sized engagement/wedding ring?(never did get the beauty in those type of rings, i personally prefer an understated engagement ring)‘ attitude.

It is so much more, It take guts to stay married. You need wisdom, patience, strength and much more to stay in the marriage when your spouse is making you crazy or your kids wanna send you screaming out of the house with all their craziness. And it requires commitment! Forget all that crap of men being men! You opened your eyes and chose a woman, said your vows in the front of God and men and now you give me that crappy excuse. Abegi! Tell that to the birds cos I ain’t listening.

You guys know what? If anytime you cheat on your wives (or girlfriends), God slaps you and you get paralysed for 2 months, you won’t cheat. You would curb your silly hormones. It is saddening to be at a beautiful wedding of someone and find out that they have separated 2 years after or that guy turned out to be a monster.

I guess it is only God that can help men to be faithful. My advice to all those that wanna get married soon and don’t want to wait is that there is more to marriage than the whole wedding jamboree. As for me, I would rather wait for the person that God has sent for me so that I can celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary with my kids and grandkids smiling cos it has been a wonderful journey than jump into a disastrous marriage cos as people say I am ‘old’. I want to look across the table at my husband and still have that sparkle in my eyes cos I made a wise decision and i am not in an enduring marriage cos of the kids.

Maybe I am dreaming again but then again, it is in God’s hands and I won’t worry about it. So to all ya people under stress to get hitched (thank God I am not), remember that people would be with you on the day of merriment but won’t be with you at your workplace (i.e. home) so stay true to yourself, trust God and be happy.

Hope you loved this piece. I can’t wait to hear your comments, I know I might get some serious backlash but hey….that is my own opinion. You can follow me on twitter @Bimbola25 and leave your comments or holla at your girl on her facebook page. I would love this to be a trending topic.

Luv u ……guys (I need to find a name for my readers. Lady crazy aka Gaga calls her fans ‘monsters’ and the kardashians call their fans ‘dolls’. So i figure you guys deserve a name. I must get a cool one, #thinkingcapon#).

Petite Diva signing out.

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