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Hebrews
11:1….Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things
not seen.
Hey guys,
welcome to another of my testimony series. Skydiving without a parachute seems
stupid right? It is! But sometimes you have to do it even with your crippling
fear. My venerable (priest) once said that you have to follow God mumuishly (without
thinking)…..he said GOD not men or men of God (I might need to talk about that very
soon, I keep reading and hearing a lot of nonsense about people doing some
stupid things that they claimed that their pastors said).
Even though
I had gotten my confirmation on the path that I felt God wanted me to take I
can tell you that it was not easy continuing this journey. There were so many
times I kept saying to myself, this is ridiculous. I am too old for this. I am
not smart enough for this and all sorts of negativities. What kept me going
even when disappointing things happened? Faith! And a whole good dose of good
stubbornness.
Like I told
my mum recently, there is a bad type of stubbornness and a good type of
stubbornness. I thank God that I am
blessed with the good type of stubbornness (at least 80%). The good type of stubbornness is
backed up with faith. It is that propelling force that makes you go after what
you want trusting that no matter what happens you are sure that you would stand
tall at the end of the day.
It is the
one that makes you understand that sometimes you fall but it is part of the experiences
in life. It is the one that makes you understand that challenges are stepping
stones to your crown so you smile and laugh despite the fact that things may be
crumbling around you.
Faith!! A
powerful force that every champion in life needs. I bless the name of the Lord
that even though I can worry about so many things in life, sometimes God
reminds me to trust in him and everything seems better.
I did a lot
of things in faith. I spoke to myself almost every day saying I was not going
to in Nigeria by 21st of September, 2015. I would speak to my house
in Uyo and say I am packing out by September. I would buy some things and I
would say this is the last time I am buying you here. I used to tell one of my
friends that I was not going to write the fellowship exams this year (but I
didn’t tell her why).
Last year
after the exams (that I was meant to fail) a friend of mine and I went to the
secretariat to get a book for her colleague. She decided to get the residency
log book in an act of faith that she would pass and move on to part 2. She kept
telling me to buy it too in my display of faith. But I refused. What she didn’t
understand then was that by me not buying the book I displaying my own act of
faith. I told myself (decreed to myself) that I would not be in Nigeria to
continue the program for some years. Stupid uhn? Nope, I was just displaying an
act of faith.
Remember
when I failed the exams and I wrote on it and how I knew it was for the best.
How I laughed when I heard? How I never let it bother me (if you didn’t read
the post, check here to understand what I am talking about)……Faith was talking
and taking over then.
Even
starting the application was an act of faith because at that time I don’t think
I had up to 100,000 naira (about $500) and the tuition fees plus maintenance
fees costs millions because my school happens to be among one of the top 25 schools
in their country (no joke! It is super standard!!). Funny at that time I didn’t
realise how upper class the school was when I set my mind on it but lately I
found out its rating I understood why the fees are astronomical.
Honestly
looking back on all that has happened I can believe I actually continued with
it. But looking back also helps me to go forward with a renewed and greater
faith because I won’t lie to you, I am terrified of the path I am embarking on.
I sometimes feel like I am not smart enough to be successful. I remember my age
and I say maybe I am too old for this. Maybe I would be too sickly to cope.
Maybe I won’t be able to comprehend all that they would say. Then I remember
that God has not giving me the spirit of fear but a spirit of love, sound mind,
faith and courage. And with that I am determined to try my best and let God
take care of the rest. I am going to enjoy every step of this pathway and learn
all the learnables so that my journey can encourage and uplift someone else.
Well folks,
that is all for this post. I have about one more and I would call it a wrap.
The remaining one is on challenges I encountered (I am sure you are eager to
read on how my father almost made me quit) and the lessons I learned about
life, myself and God.
Thanks so
much for stopping by. Hope you like the posts I write about all I am encountering
here. I know I haven’t said where I am but very soon you guys would find out.
Maybe I would reveal all during the scholarship winner’s dinner that is held by
my school. Not sure yet…..I want to be mysterious…..lol
Luv ya,
Petite Diva……
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