Saturday, September 26, 2015


My definition of hand
Hebrews 11:1….Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hey guys, welcome to another of my testimony series. Skydiving without a parachute seems stupid right? It is! But sometimes you have to do it even with your crippling fear. My venerable (priest) once said that you have to follow God mumuishly (without thinking)…..he said GOD not men or men of God (I might need to talk about that very soon, I keep reading and hearing a lot of nonsense about people doing some stupid things that they claimed that their pastors said).

Even though I had gotten my confirmation on the path that I felt God wanted me to take I can tell you that it was not easy continuing this journey. There were so many times I kept saying to myself, this is ridiculous. I am too old for this. I am not smart enough for this and all sorts of negativities. What kept me going even when disappointing things happened? Faith! And a whole good dose of good stubbornness.

Like I told my mum recently, there is a bad type of stubbornness and a good type of stubbornness.  I thank God that I am blessed with the good type of stubbornness (at least 80%). The good type of stubbornness is backed up with faith. It is that propelling force that makes you go after what you want trusting that no matter what happens you are sure that you would stand tall at the end of the day.

It is the one that makes you understand that sometimes you fall but it is part of the experiences in life. It is the one that makes you understand that challenges are stepping stones to your crown so you smile and laugh despite the fact that things may be crumbling around you.
Faith!! A powerful force that every champion in life needs. I bless the name of the Lord that even though I can worry about so many things in life, sometimes God reminds me to trust in him and everything seems better.

I did a lot of things in faith. I spoke to myself almost every day saying I was not going to in Nigeria by 21st of September, 2015. I would speak to my house in Uyo and say I am packing out by September. I would buy some things and I would say this is the last time I am buying you here. I used to tell one of my friends that I was not going to write the fellowship exams this year (but I didn’t tell her why).

Last year after the exams (that I was meant to fail) a friend of mine and I went to the secretariat to get a book for her colleague. She decided to get the residency log book in an act of faith that she would pass and move on to part 2. She kept telling me to buy it too in my display of faith. But I refused. What she didn’t understand then was that by me not buying the book I displaying my own act of faith. I told myself (decreed to myself) that I would not be in Nigeria to continue the program for some years. Stupid uhn? Nope, I was just displaying an act of faith.

Remember when I failed the exams and I wrote on it and how I knew it was for the best. How I laughed when I heard? How I never let it bother me (if you didn’t read the post, check here to understand what I am talking about)……Faith was talking and taking over then.

Even starting the application was an act of faith because at that time I don’t think I had up to 100,000 naira (about $500) and the tuition fees plus maintenance fees costs millions because my school happens to be among one of the top 25 schools in their country (no joke! It is super standard!!). Funny at that time I didn’t realise how upper class the school was when I set my mind on it but lately I found out its rating I understood why the fees are astronomical. 

Honestly looking back on all that has happened I can believe I actually continued with it. But looking back also helps me to go forward with a renewed and greater faith because I won’t lie to you, I am terrified of the path I am embarking on. I sometimes feel like I am not smart enough to be successful. I remember my age and I say maybe I am too old for this. Maybe I would be too sickly to cope. Maybe I won’t be able to comprehend all that they would say. Then I remember that God has not giving me the spirit of fear but a spirit of love, sound mind, faith and courage. And with that I am determined to try my best and let God take care of the rest. I am going to enjoy every step of this pathway and learn all the learnables so that my journey can encourage and uplift someone else.

Well folks, that is all for this post. I have about one more and I would call it a wrap. The remaining one is on challenges I encountered (I am sure you are eager to read on how my father almost made me quit) and the lessons I learned about life, myself and God.

Thanks so much for stopping by. Hope you like the posts I write about all I am encountering here. I know I haven’t said where I am but very soon you guys would find out. Maybe I would reveal all during the scholarship winner’s dinner that is held by my school. Not sure yet…..I want to be mysterious…

Luv ya,
Petite Diva……

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